Day 30: Lessons learned

I'm sorry, I didn't have time (or made the time) to do this last blog challenge on day 30. So yes, it's the 31st already. Tomorrow, in our country, is the first day of Spring. The children are exceptionally looking forward to it. Clearly, they're tired of winter and being cold and wearing 4 layers over each other. Always putting on socks and shoes, and Boeboe can't wait to wear frilly dresses and skirts again. I'm also looking forward seeing little Peanut in dresses again, especially now that she's walking. Aaawwww. This is why I wanted another little girl. Or at least, one of the reasons. :-)

So about the challenge. I guess the "lessons learned" they talk about, is during the past month, after doing the whole challenge? Well, I learned that it's not impossible to post on the blog (almost) every day! I used to (and will probably continue) to only post once a week or so. I also learned that it's not entirely as bad as I thought, to be talking about myself on here. I can easily relate my feelings, or talk for hours about my children. But listing my "good" points or putting up photo's of myself, or admitting that I have a mole on my cheek for example, those things was very difficult for me. But, I learned that it's do-able, and can serve a purpose. It's good to share. I used to think it's good for the one that shares, to share. It gives them an opportunity to work through some feelings and situations. But, I've now learned (due to other things happening as well), that sharing isn't only about the one that shares. It's also about the one with whom it was shared. The recipient is given the chance to get to know the sharer. The recipient is also given the opportunity to learn, grow, commisserate or understand. The recipient may feel valued, appreciated and important to someone. If we don't share, we take that opportunity away from the recipient.

So I've learned that I should not be so selective with what I want to share (like only discussing the kids, etc.). I have also noticed by reading a number of blogs this month, that I tend to be all doom and gloom. Which is so not me in real life. I think by sharing my worries and negative feelings, I'm able to let them go. Which gives me the opportunity to be the optimistic, happy person that I really am. While other people (with whom I shared), is left with the doom and negativity. Either taking it on, making them feel negative, or by seeing me as an eternally unhappy and negative person. I really am a very happy and light person. I don't have a great sense of humor, I won't be as bold as to claim that, LOL. My husband gets that honor. But I do have an innate positivity in me. Which is why I was able to carry on throughout the whole Boeboe-saga. I never took as much strain as my husband. Probably because I could come onto this blog, and dump all those feelings, so that it doesn't weigh me down. I always knew we'd get there, in the end. Where "there" was, and when we'd get there, were unknowns and scary, but I just knew it would be okay in the end. My faith is very strong in these instances.

So ya, I'll take the lessons I've learned this past month (and years) to heart, and see what changes I can make with the new knowledge I have about myself. I'm proud of having completed this challenge. Because it wasn't easy or natural to me. And at points, it was very difficult to take the 10 minutes to do this. Apart from the challenge, this must've been the busiest month I had ALL YEAR! So as you can imagine, it was challenging. But it was good, and I enjoyed it ALOT. I'm certainly going to join in on other challenges again in the future, or create my own. :-) Thanx for sharing this month with me!

Day 29: What am I looking forward to?

Short term, long term??

For short term, I'd say the weekend. I just want to relax and do NOTHING. The past week we had family staying with us, and I've cooked, cleaned, washed dishes, made coffee, etc. etc. etc. Till I'm ready to drop. And ontop of that it was/is exams, and I'm spending lots of time with Boeboe to get her ready. But that's a whole other post for another time. One day soon, when I have time again.

In the longer term, I'm looking forward putting this whole Monkeyman thing behind us. It's really weighing me down.

I'm also looking forward to all the little milestones we're going to have with Peanut (D.V.). I'm really enjoying seeing how clever our little baby is getting. She's saying so many words, new ones added all the time. When my eldest, Mr N was 14 months, he could only (barely) say 3 almost intelligible words. Peanut says so many, I'm literally unable to count it all. It could be 20, or 50, or even a 100 for all I know, LOL. She picks up new words and sounds very easily. She has also started to walk, so there's loads of new adventures awaiting her (and us), to look forward to.

I'm also looking forward to the summer starting soon. And to the school holidays. And to life just getting easier towards the end of the year. With less afterschool activities, less tests and projects and homework.

And, of course, I'm looking forward to Christmas!! Yes, I know it's barely even September, but like I said, I love Christmas. :-)

In the very very long term, I'm looking forward to my kids all growing up healthy and happy and safely, for them to study something, find a great job, a husband or wife, and to have kids and a wonderful life of their own.

Day 28: Old photo of me

Yeah, bit of a difficult one! Digital cameras wasn't exactly available when I was young (giving away my age here!!). So, this is a photo of a printed photo. It was taken by my mom. She made my matric farewell dress (like USA's prom, but only for those in their last school year). It was perfect. I felt like Cindarella for the day.

The reason though why I'm choosing this pic, is because someone wanted to know more about the reconstructive facial surgery I had. Here, you can easily see why I needed/wanted it, and what has been done (sorry it's not a close up of the face). On this first photo, I have braces (and 4 teeth had to be pulled before they started. The surgery was done about a year after this photo was taken. I'll add the first photo I've put on when this blog challenge started (in the introduction), to compare how I look now to then. It's clear what the surgery did for me.

So here goes. An old photo of me, taken more than 2 decades  ago:

Me, age 18, before my reconstructive surgery

 

Me, 20 years later, with baby Peanut

Day 27: Best childhood memory

Oh gosh, this can bring one to tears. I have many, many childhood memories that's competing to be in the first place as "the best". Most of them involve my mom.

I think the one that I misses the most, will be classed as my best. It's not a single memory, but a huge number of similar ones. My mom always went to lie down after lunch during her holidays. Rarely, she'd take a nap. But usually, she would just turn up her heavy classical music, and enjoy it. Sometimes reading.

During the long summer holidays we always went to Waenhuiskrans for 5-6 weeks. It was THE best. Her bed there got afternoon sun, and as you probably know by now, I absolutely adore the sun. So by 3 or 4pm, she would be lying on her bed, looking out of the window, daydreaming. I'd go to her, lie down next to her but on the part of the bed that got sunshine, and we'd just chat and laugh and share. I was able to talk to her about absolutely everything under the sun. Nothing was too embarresing, too personal or too stupid to talk to her about. She rarely told me what to do. But she always had advice, always supported me, and always made sure I knew how proud she was of me.

So those days in the sun, chatting with my mother, is my best childhood memory. As I said, there's loads more, of course, but I won't bore you with them. :-)

Day 26: Favourite Foods

Well, there's a few, but I'm not sure if meals counts as foods? I'm going to assume it's okay. So, my top 10 favourite foods:

1. Fruit, especially watermelon, melon, sharon, grapes, berries, promegranates, citrus, mangoes, prickly pears, etc. I absolutely LOVE fruit.

2. Raw veggies. I don't like veggies much, not cooked. But raw - love it! Not all of it. But carrots, snap peas, avo's, cucumber, lettuce, etc.

3. Chicken curry. Warm, comfort food.

4. Lamb stew. Same, it's warm and comforting.

5. Beef & veggie soup. Cold winter night special.

6. Grilled T-bone beef steak.

7. Bacon. In any way, shape or form.

8. Crisps. Does this count as food? It's made from potatoes or corn, not true? Haha.

9. Biltong and droewors. For those not in South Africa, it's dried, cured strips of beef (or game), and dried pieces of a fattened sausage. Doesn't sound appealing, but it's really, really good, and an all time favourite of most South Africans of my culture.

10. Popcorn. Just plainly salted. Loads of salt, actually.

Day 25: Where am I...

at my happiest?

Easy answer today. At home. Surrounded by my family, or alone, but at home. A close second would be in Waenhuiskrans, in my parent's little beach house. But home is where my heart is. With my belongings around me, my way of doing things. The food I love in the fridge, the coffee I like next to me, the music I like, on the tv/radio.

Day 24 – What’s my favourite time of year and why?

Christmas. Without a second thought. Love it love it love it. Don't care about people's complaints that it's commercialised. Don't care about the hype or the fact that shops put decorations out in October already. Don't care if we spend too much money.

I just love Christmas. It has everything to me. In our country, it's summer. The height of summer, to be exact. It's hot and beautiful weather. It's long school holidays. And I have the most beautiful memories of my time with my mother as I grew up, over Christmases. We always went to Waenhuiskrans, at the coast. Beautiful memories. I wasn't sad much when my dad sold their house. Because to me, my mom's house is the one in Waenhuiskrans. That's where I find her again. I remember exactly where the Christmas tree stood. How it looked. The long walks late afternoon or after dinner. The good meals. The family times.

And most importantly. I'm a Christian, and Christmas is a time for joy. Because we celebrate the birth of our beloved Jesus. I don't care about the origins of where it started or whatever people's opinion on that is. I celebrate the 25th of December as Jesus's birthday. We party for Him. We party with Him. We give gifts to each other, because we can't give something physical to Him, and He loves us being kind and good to each other. We celebrate with family. And we celebrate for 2 days long. We eat like kings. We spoil ourselves. We spoil each other. There's a vibe in the air, everywhere you go. Shops, friends, everywhere. Most of the people in our community/circle, are Christians. We send each other happy sms's. Life is beautiful at Christmas time for us. I make sure that the kids are thoroughly spoiled, at least this one time a year. I save all year long for their gifts. Looking forward to finding each one exactly what they want. And to see their faces lit up. Just absolutely the best day.

Day 23: My most embarrassing moment

OK, I can't believe I'm even posting today's challenge. But here goes.

I've had a number of embarressing moments. But one that still makes me cringe is when I went to the neurologist a couple of years ago. I didn't want to go, I was certain nothing was wrong. But hubby was worried, so I promised him I'll go. It was about skin patches on my hips, stomach, thighs and back that doesn't have feeling anymore. All sensation is lost. I was certain it was due to my 2nd pregnancy, where baby lied from hip to hip. I could feel her pinching my nerves, and permanently damaging it. But ya, it could've just as well been a tumor in my spine, so I went to the neurologist.

Stupidly, I thought of him as a brain doctor, and totally forgot that he'll most likely check the skin out. Well, it's on my upper thighs. And it was winter. And in winter I don't like to shave.

I could've died from embarressment. It was just awful awful awful. My own stupid fault. Never again. The dr itself was obviously not fazed. Very gentlemanly like. And of course, he diagnosed me with exactly what I thought. Nerve damage from pregnancy and nothing to worry about. He did send me for an MRI due to lower back pain, but it was perfectly clear as well.

I still cringe, thinking of that.

Day 22 – My hobbies

I think this one has been covered by some of the previous challenges. I have a few hobbies I love to spend time on, but it's all things that keeps my mind busy. Not my hands. As long as my mind is occupied, and I don't have to do anything with my body, like excersizing, I'm happy. :-)

So basically, I love reading, tv, surfing the net (especially joining in on various forums or researching something) and playing computer games.

Day 21: What do I do...

...when I'm home alone?

Surf the net, play computer games, watch tv, listen to music - while I drink a cuppacino and eat something. :-)

Day 20 – My biggest accomplishment

Well, firstly the corny answer, again, would be my children. Each one individually. Being able to carry them to term, especially the first two when no one thought they'd make it. Raising them to be the wonderful little human beings they are today. And advocating for my daughter when she needed me to.

So, if I'm not corny, what would my biggest accomplishment be?

I think I'd say my 2 degrees, and getting them cum laude. I didn't do well in my first term in univarcity. I was lonely, scared, lost-in-the-city. The world was suddenly such a very, very different place, and not one I liked very much. But, then I started to get the hang of it. I made friends, I started to "belong" to a similar like-minded group, I got to know the work-pace, the lecturers and life in a hostel. I started to find the work very interesting and loved learning. Still hated exams, LOL. So in the end, I was able to drag my marks up and finished my degree with marks I could be proud of. I wasn't ready to stop learning yet, so I got some bursaries, a temporary job and paid my own way through my honors degree, also finishing it with a good final mark. I still think of my uni days with fondness and longing. I met my husband there, which turned out to be the best thing ever from my 4 years there. :-)

Day 19 – Five blogs I read

Well, this is a bit of an embarressing thing to admit, being a blog-writer myself, but I don't frequent other blogs all that regularly. I do have a looooooong list of blogs, and I do go to most of them every so often, but I don't visit x number of blogs x number of times a week. What I usually do, is when I have a "cause", like recently with the pulmonary hypertension, I would google until I feel like I know all there is to know. This includes personal stories, which invariably leads me to blogs. Then I'll read that blog almost from front to back. Most of the time, I'd go back at some point, but I won't be a regular visitor. So it leaves me with a very very long list of blogs that I can name here. But since I don't frequently read them, it would make it difficult which ones to choose.

When I was in the midst of getting Boeboe diagnosed with the tethered cord, I found comfort in a number of blogs about spina bifida and tethered cord. There were 4 especially that stuck with me, which I check up on fairly regularly. So I decided to only list those 4. They are:

http://samtheconqueror.blogspot.com/ 
http://joumaseblerrieblog.blogspot.com/
http://www.aworthyjourney.com/
http://www.masonsbjournal.blogspot.com/

I don't know if it was good writing skills, adorable children that stole my heart, or something else that struck a cord with me. Unfortunately, the 2nd one's writer has decided to slow down updating her blog (sniff sniff). Still worth a look at, especially if you're in South Africa (the first 2 are both South African ladies).

Day 18: Where have I travelled?

Ah, a great, sigh of relief here. Today's challenge isn't as difficult as the last couple have been. Unfortunately, it might still be a bit boring, since I'm just not a traveller. Though, I do like to see our country, South Africa. So we travel, but not that far from home. We live in a gorgeous, beautiful, diverse country. There's many, many places I still want to visit in my life time. And many I'd love to revisit one day.

When I was a child, we didn't go many places. We visited my grandma in the Karoo, some other family in Cape Town and surrounds, and spend at least a month every year at Waenhuiskrans. It's this small, remote little town about 30kms from the most Southern point of the whole of Africa. We went to some game reserves, a few other cities and alot to Augrabies Falls since we stayed close to it.

I also went on a few holidays with friends once I was older. Mostly to resorts, game farms and such. When me and hubby got married, we decided to splurge a little, and booked ourselves an island holiday. We decided on Comores. It was beautiful. That was my first and last time overseas. I had one other opportunity. To go on a holiday sponsored by the company my husband worked for. It was for 2 weeks, to the USA and then on a luxury boat cruis to Alaska and back. Unfortunately, it was scheduled for the time Peanut would've been 7 weeks old. I just couldn't do it. She wasn't allowed with, and I couldn't leave my 2-month old baby for 2 weeks. Not even for that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Thus, apart from Comores, my travels only included local travel. A few years ago, I told my husband that I'd really like to see the East coast of our country. So we drove from the Northern inland part where I stay, to the South East. We visited every coastal little town we could fit into the limited time we have. I created a post about that, including lots of photo's, here. For anyone interested.

Earlier this year, we decided to do the same, but this time down the West coast. It was absolutely stunning. Even more beautiful than the East Coast. I loved seeing all the stunningly gorgeous little towns. And this time, the people resonated with me. I grew up in the Northern Cape, so I felt right at home in every little town.

So, since I haven't put up photo's of that roadtrip yet, I'll do it in here. It gives me an incentive to sort through the (thousands of) photo's today. So, here goes. Our Westcoast holiday earlier this year (compare the pics to the East coast holiday of 2 years back - how small were the children!! And no Peanut yet. In fact, it was during that holiday that I realised I wanted another little one.)

So our holiday started by sleeping over halfway, which was in the middle of the Karoo.

Just look at that sunset! We overnight on a farm outside the town.

First day at the sea! Everyone in a silly mood. This is in Lamberts Bay.
If we could choose, we might just go and live there. It was stunning, peaceful
and had the friendliest people. Unfortunately, as you can see, the beaches
were full of Bamboes on that day, after a storm the night before we arrived.

Monkeyman with his shovel.

Beach at Lamberts Bay.

The view from our apartment in Lambert's Bay.
Overlooking a more rocky part of the coast.

Our babygirl's first time on the beach!

Me and my kids at Shelly beach, if I remember correctly.

 

One of the beaches close to Langebaan. As far as
I remember, this one was named Callypso.

Langebaan's main road leading to the beach. Very cosmopolitan.

Main beach at Langebaan

Caught in a happy moment at Jacob's Bay.

Gorgeous, most kid friendly beach ever at Jacob's Bay. We
absolutely loved this little town.

What do you do with 4 children after a long day at the
beach, in a small flat. You give them an iPad, laptop, Kindle and PSP
to keep them occupied and out of your hair. Hahahaha.

Gorgeous Saldanha Bay.

 

Caught the first fish! OK, it's just a little one, but still.
Smiles all around!

View over Saldanha Bay

Stunning Yzerfontein. One day, me and hubby will go back there.

Misty day unfortunately. Still stunning, the view of
Table Mountain in Cape Town from Bloubergstrand.

Yeah OK, there was no bath all right? I know that's not the
most hygenic thing to do! But she was full of seasand
and the bathroom sink was too small.

Ended our roadtrip in Waenhuiskrans again.

Boogy boards again

Yay!!

My beautiful daughter

This photo used to make me smile, until his PH diagnosis.
Now, it makes me sad, because it reminds me of how
he got tired and would come and sit with me under the shade.
At the time, I just accepted it as how he is. Now, it had taken
on a very different meaning. One that scares me.

Such a gorgeous pic of grandpa and Monkeyman.

She build a little girl out of sand, it's in the shade - look closely!

Boys playing frisbee

Our tradition continue. Footprints in the sand. Look at the tiny
pair that has been added compared to the 2011 pics.
And look! This time Mr N's feet (bottom left) has
surpassed mine (bottom middle)

My three eldest, enjoying the beach all to themselves

My beautiful babygirl, with her very proud mommy

Loving the water and mud!

Caught some fishies!!

And then there were 4. Wow, still can't believe it. And look how
much bigger they've gotten since they were last here 2 years ago.

Climbing the rocks

My wonderful, handsome, big boy

At pebble beach again.

Caught a live jelly fish! Amazing find. It was still alive, so we
threw it back into the deeper water.

 

Gorgeous Waenhuiskrans

View over the massive cave from the outside. That whole
cliff is hollow inside. Hence the name "Waenhuiskrans".
Directly translated to Wagon + House + Cliff. You could
fit a couple of wagons as big as houses in there!

Boeboe and Monkeyman ran up the dune. Mr N was lazy, and
wanted to stay at the bottom with us. Until I dared him R20 if he
could catch them before they reach the top and be there first.
Amazingly, he did!!!!

She LOVED the giant sandpit!

And the sea

And the little waves

And like they say - that's it, folks!

Day 17: My guilty pleasure

I'm going to admit that though I kinda knew what "guilty pleasure" meant, I had to google it to make sure I understood the term correctly. So, accordingly to wiki, this is the definition:

A guilty pleasure is something one enjoys and considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it. The "guilt" involved is sometimes simply fear of others discovering one's lowbrow or otherwise embarrassing tastes, such as campy styles of entertainment. Fashion, video games, music, films, and junk food can be examples of guilty pleasures.

I don't have a shopping addiction I hide from my husband. I don't look at porn or sleezy websites. I don't hide chocolates beneath my pillow or something. So I do apologise for being such a goody 2-shoes today, but there's not really any guilty pleasures I can admit to. I have lots of things I enjoy, obviously, but none of them make me hide it, or feel guilty about it. I'm really a very open book. And I don't feel guilty about my (lack of) style, fashion, likes/dislikes, etc. At this age, I'm quite happy with who I am, and don't feel I owe anyone anything, that would make me feel guilty, iykwim? So I guess the closest thing I have to a guilty pleasure, is that I spent too much time online. Sometimes, it would be good for me, for the house, for my husband and for my children, if I would spend a little less time on my laptop. ;-)

Day 16: Ten things that makes me awesome

Ouch! This was a difficult challenge for yesterday. I started doing it, but just couldn't post. Look, I love doing the challenge. But it would completely go against the grain of who I am, to post something with that title. I just couldn't do it. I don't believe I'm awesome. I don't like the word "awesome" in respects of describing a person, least of all me. So ya, I'll backdate this post to keep to the date-integrity, but I can't list 10 things. Maybe if I was in a lighthearted mood, I would've been able to, but my heart is a bit heavy for that.

Day 15: Something I miss

My mom. I miss her every day of my life. I've written a post about her previously (on here), so I won't go into all of that again.

I guess there's other things I can list as well, but the challenge is "someTHING", not "some things" I miss. So yeah, there's nothing I miss more than my mother. Maybe that'll leave me time to write a post today about Boeboe and Monkeyman's issues, since I got quite a few enquiries about how it's going now.

Day 14: Last book I've read

I love reading. I really, really love reading. When I was a child, I read a book a day. It sounds impossible, I know, but I didn't read English books until I was 16. I only read Afrikaans (my home tongue). The books I read, always had 152 pages in those days. Always. They changed the font size and nr of lines per page to fit it in. So yeah, I went to the library at least once a week. It was 3 blocks away from home. And the best hour of my week. There was something magical about the library.  

I have a number of books that I read every year. The Harry Potter series, the Earth children series, and almost all of Anne McCaffrey's fantasy books. The last book I read though, was 50 Shades. Urgh, I struggled with it. I don't know why. Everyone went on and on about it, but I think when you've come to love the books like these above, 50 Shades just doesn't cut it. It felt flat. I came halfway through the 2nd before giving up again. Maybe one day, I'll finish it, I don't know. Doesn't really feel worth the time when I can just read Clan of the Cavebear again. Or the Pern series.

I've also started Midnight sun again from Stephanie Meyer. I really liked the twilight series. I'll finish that, and then I want to read a book my sister recommended. The Glass Castle. I have no idea what it's about.

So why don't I read as many books these days? Because I read on the internet. I read people's stories, blogs, Google books, medical reviews and research articles. I read everything I can "lay my hands on" so to speak, about the subject I'm interested in. During the past 3 months, it was Pulmonary Hypertension. So the last book I probably read, was a book on that (I don't keep track of the names, but it was something about lung diseases).

I can never NOT read. There's a few things I can't live without. Reading is one of them.

Day 13: Daily Routine

About 4 months ago, I made a post about my daily routine. On here: http://roadtosanmichele.blogspot.com/2013/04/life-as-sahm-with-four-children.html

I doubt if you'd want to read all of THAT again, LOL. So, maybe just a quick recap for today's challenge?

Wake up around 8am. Give Peanut her milk, take a bath, change Peanut's nappy and dress her, give Monkeyman breakfast and eat a bowl of corn flakes myself.
Take Monkeyman to school, sit in for a while, watching him and the other kids.

Go home around 10am and give Peanut cereal, feed her milk and put her to bed. Clean house up a bit, make coffee and browse the internet for a while. Or maybe watch a bit of tv. Play with Peanut when she wakes, feed her, change her and give her lunch.

Around 12:45, I fetch Monkeyman from school, then fetch Mr N and Boeboe from school (if they don't have something on after school). Give all of them lunch, drink coffee and give Peanut something to eat. Fetch any kid(s) still not home yet due to afterschool activities.

Around 3pm, feed Peanut milk and put her to bed.
Help with homework or projects. Start dinner.
Eat dinner, feed Peanut dinner, bath her, dress her.
Spend time with the kids, put them in bed around 8pm, feed Peanut milk, put her in bed.
Make coffee for me and husband. Watch tv and surf the net.
Feed Peanut milk when she wakes.
Go to bed around midnight.
Wakes multiple times for Peanut, and give her milk.

Day 12: If I win the lottery...

… I'd buy an island, build houses for family and friends that wants to come and visit (or live there), get a few tutors for the kids, and live in peace far far away from the ratrace. I'd have an orchard with all my favourite fruit trees. And maybe a few animals.

Realistically though, the lotto here won't be big enough to cover all of that, LOL. So if I really would win SA's lotto, I'd probably put alot away for our old age. I'd pay off our house. I'd give a portion to all of my and hubby's families. Probably also give some to the church or a charity or some place where we know it'll make a real, tangible difference. I'd take a few thousand to go on holiday, and I'd buy our children something really valuable that they'll never otherwise have. Like a mini iPad, a laptop or such. I'd buy everyone that really means/meant something to me and my family, a gift. Something really awesome, that would warm their hearts as they did or still do ours. And I'd buy my husband a Mazda 5, since I'm driving around with his dream car.

Day 11: 15 of my favourite things

This post is a day late. But I'm backdating it so that it still matches the date. I've had such a busy day yesterday, I really tried to complete the challenge, but only came halfway before I had to give up to sleep. Our visitors left today, so life would go back to semi normal I think. I hope!

About today's challenge: I really wanna be corny again, and say nr 1-5 is my husband, Mr N, Boeboe, Monkeyman and Peanut.

So let's see, 10 more favourite things.

6.   Coffee. Cuppacino specifically.
7.   Snacks. Love to eat.
8.   My laptop.
9.   Mini iPad.
10. Warm, comfortable clothes in winter, and a warm, soft bed.
11.  Some things from my mom that has sentimental value to me.
12.  Some of my most valued books, as well as the kindle, though Mr N mostly has it these days.
13.  Some of the thoughtful gifts I received over the years that means alot to me. One being a handmade necklace from my sister.
14.  Angelcare breathing monitor
15.  Pressure cooker

Day 10: My best physical feature

Oh my word, today's challenge is difficult! It's bad enough to talk about myself every day, my likes and dislikes, etc. But about my looks?! So difficult. So I'm just going to keep this short. I think I like the fact that I can eat whatever I want to, and not pick up weight. Not because I think it's so awesome to be underweight (quite the opposite), but because I've come to learn how difficult it is for those who feel they need to loose weight for whatever reason. I appreciate the fact that I do not have that struggle, and can enjoy treats.

Day 9: Favourite movies

...I'll never get sick of watching.

Tbh, I don't think there's even one movie that I'll never get sick of if I've watched it enough times. But, there are a few movies that I watch regularly, or don't mind watching again every couple of years.

First in line has got to be Harry Potter. All of them. We have the DVD set, and every year or 2, we work through them. Just like I read the books every year or so again.

I also love Dirty Dancing. Not so much the story anymore, or the characters, like when I was a teenager (giving my age away here, hahahaha). But the music and dancing. It just gets to me every time.

Notting Hill. What's not to like? Great actors, great characters, romance, comedy, princess-fairy-tale, everything a girl (usually) likes. I certainly do!

Men in Black. I'm not an action movie type of person. Not at all. Anything above a 13 is usually just too much for me. But I really do love a good scifi comedy action movie. Not the "Battleship" type - one long drawn out action scene with barely any story, and way too many impossible, unrealistic stunts. But Men in Black, gosh man, I love those.

Independance Day. Same as above. When he drags that alien behind him...hahahahaha. Love his monologue!

Top Gun. Tom Cruise, uniforms, motorcycle, good music, action, heart ache, romance, fighter jet planes. Great balls of fire!!

Pretty Woman. Aijaijai, Richard Gere saving the girl. Doesn't get better than that!

Junior. I know, I know. What can I say? I have a soft spot for old Arnie, and babies, and Emma Thompson.

Meet Joe Black. Brad Pitt. Enough said.

Much Ado About Nothing. Emma Thompson and Robert Sean Leonard. Best of the Shakespear bunch for me!!

The truman show. Don't know why. I love reality tv, maybe that's why?

Wall-E. One of the very few animated movies I won't mind watching again and again.

Love Actually. Colin Frith.

Bridget Jones. Again...Colin Frith.

Groundhog Day. No idea why. I just like it. :-)

I'm sure I'm missing loads more, but there you go. Enough for today. Happy Women's Day for all the female South African residents!

ENT follow-up

The much promised ENT post (typed it for about 3 days now!). Sorry, life is extremely hectic at the moment. It'll calm down soon, so I'm just soldiering on day by day until things normalises again.

So earlier the week, the day after the cardiologist visit, Monkeyman had his follow up after the adenoidectomy. The ENT was very happy to hear that the PH has resolved. He said the fact that the pulmonary arteries is shrinking, is a clear sign and the one that they usually see.

He was quite surprised though that Monkeyman was still tired. He again said that he should've showed a big improvement in energy levels, and that it's really strange that he didn't. He asked me some questions, like how he is when we go to the shops (before and after the adenoidectomy), if Monkeyman vocalises if he's tired, etc.

He said that Monkeyman's behaviour is abnormal and does indicate that something else must still be wrong. He said it's a strange thing for a child, to be so tired, and to vocalises it at this age is very indicative. He said that it's probably not acute, like leukemia or something similar, because then he would've been dead already. Since I noticed the tiredness 4 years ago already.

The POA is that he's going to contact the cardiologist and peadiatrician, to form a team to come up with ideas on what they could test for. The one thing he's going to propose from his side, is that they test his iron levels after 3 months' supplementation (so in about 6 weeks time) again. If it has recovered back to normal, then fine. If not, they might be on to something, like an iron malabsorption. This makes sense to me, because I've been wondering why on earth would his iron test low. It tested normal age 2, so what would've made it drop? The cardiologist said maybe worms, but the ENT said that would've showed up in his iG bloodtest result, which it didn't. Monkeyman loves meat, and unlike the oldest 2, has had a good diet all his life. Vegetables, fruit, meat, carbs. Everything. He eats it all, and a good amount every day. It is my one child I never have/had to worry about eating. Not what or how much.

He also suggested that we could admit Monkeyman into ICU for one night of observation, to see how low his sats goes. Personally, I think this would've had value before the adenoidectomy. But if there was still severe sleep apnea that causes desaturation, then I don't believe the PH would've resolved. So personally, I believe that if there's still sleep apnea, it's not causing him to desat.

Anyway, so the ENT is being really fantastic. He could've, just like the cardiologist, washed his hands from us because he did what he could/had to for Monkeyman. His ear/nose/throat area is dealt with. Just like the cardiologist said her heart/PH area was dealt with. So ya, I'm sure the pead will pick this up and run with it eventually, but having a dr like the ENT initiating it, gives it so much more momentum and force and validity (is there such a word?). I already feel like a bit of a paranoid mom again for trying to tell doctors that there's something wrong with my child. :-( I absolutely HATED that feeling with Boeboe. And when a doctor basically tells you that that's what he's thinking, it just kills you inside. It squashes all hope and resolve you had in helping your child. So when a dr that didn't even have to, believes you and tells YOU that he thinks there's something we need to find.... it just warms my heart for the support and trust.

I told Monkeyman's teacher earlier this week about the resolving PH, and she was so happy for us. Then she asked me what we're going to do about the tiredness. And his paleness. She said he's just not like other 5 year olds. He prefers activities where he can sit down. Exactly what I've been saying the past 6 months. He'll rather play cars, or in the sandpit, or build puzzles, or read a book, than run around with the other boys. And she said you could see in his face, he goes all pale, when he gets tired. And it's true. I tried to tell the one doctor this once, that I can see it in his face. I found it difficult to explain. It's as if he draws into himself. His face muscles goes taught. Withdrawn. Not relaxed or happy. No smiles. His voice also changes. The lilt in it dissapears. It's all tired sounding and flat. It's difficult to say. It's just something I know. As a mom. But, even though I've walked this road with Boeboe before, I still doubt myself. So it's kind of a relief to know me and his dad aint the only ones picking up on this. On the other hand, it's made me sad though. I was on such a high after hearing the PH is gone. But now I'm a bit sad to know that there's still something wrong. Maybe something easily fixed. Maybe not. The unknown road. We're still not off it. I honestly don't know if I have the strength for this anymore. But what choice do we have? I can't just leave it again like the other times throughout the years when I asked drs about his tiredness and they just shrug when tests comes up with nothing. Not after his teacher told me this week that I should not drop this. That I should keep on looking for answers. It's fantastic to have the support of the people around you that knows your child, but it's also difficult to go back to playing ostrich when other people has noticed it as well.

Tonight, Peanut was up late and got tired while she was crawling, so she just laid down flat on her tummy with her cheek on the carpet. It reminded me painfully on how Monkeyman was. Exactly like that. But without a reason. Doing it a couple of times a day, every day, without needing a nap. Without being tired from a late night or teething or missing a nap. Peanut hasn't even done it once a week since she's started crawling. She just doesn't have that tiredness that Monkeyman had. Thank goodness. But it does tell me how a baby should be, and how Monkeyman was. Quite a difference.

So ya, we'll hear what the ENT suggests next, and give iron supplements in the meantime, and prepare us for a loooong road. Probably months and months before we might have a few more answers. I'm going to try and work through this better than I did with the PH. So that I can continue with life and not live like my son has no future. I was in a dark hole with the PH sword hanging over our heads. I can't and shouldn't continue like that. I'm a worrier by nature though, so it's difficult to shrug it off. But I'm going to try my darndest, and spend some happy times with the kids. I can feel spring in the air, and that is enough to lift my spirits already. Now, I need to sleep. Tomorrow is a busy busy day!! I'm taking Boeboe summer-clothes shopping, and we have family visiting for this week.

Day 8: My dream job

This is an easy one.

To be a SAHM (stay at home mom).

I'm living my dreamjob. :-) I never realised how much I would enjoy being at home full time. The plan was only to stay at home the first year of my baby's life, and then look for a job closer to home so that I wouldn't sit in traffic for a couple of hours every day. But when I had to start looking for a job when baby was about 10 months old, I found myself dragging my feet. In the end I realised it was because I was dreading it, not looking forward to it. So I spoke to my husband, who also hated the thought of his baby going to a creche full time, and voila, here I am 12 years later, still unemployed and loving it!

That's it for today. Since today is in any case over. I have guests in the house for the next week, so time is severely stricted.

Day 7: Pet Peeves

Today, I won't list all my pet peeves, since I still have a long update on Monkeyman to do.

So here's some small irritations of mine. I'm sure most people would relate!

• People standing too close to me in a queue. Don't breath in my neck!!! Especially if you haven't taken a shower in the past 72 hours or have the flu.
• Wet socks. I.Can't.Stand.Wet.Socks. Honestly, it's the worst!
• A sticky kitchen floor. Why would the kids ALWAYS spill sticky cooldrink on the day the floor was washed?!?!
• Open mouth chewing. And after 10 years, I STIL struggle to get this across to my children!! I shout/warn/threaten them at every meal. Literally every meal. For a decade. :-( Nothing puts a mother so much in her place than the feeling that she's talking to the empty walls!!
• Little popping noises. Like drops of water falling, children blowing bubbles with their spit or bubblegum, etc.
• When something doesn't work that should've work.
• Being late.
• Wobbly tables.
• Taxi's and their inconsiderate driving.
• Someone kicking/bumping my chair while I'm sitting in it.

OK, that's 10. Enough for today. I'm sure you're getting tired because of all my loooong lists. Hahahaha.

Day 6: What makes me happy?

Gosh, it's late in the day again for this post. It's a bit of a hectic time for me. I have a whole update to do on Monkeyman's visit to the ENT today, but I'll leave that for tomorrow when my mind isn't mush. :-)

So, back to today's challenge. What makes me happy? Can I be corny again, and say my children and husband? First and foremost. Without them, I'll be the saddest, loneliest person. Not even a shell of who I am or can be. They make me smile, they fill my heart and they're the cause of my laughter. Today, I mentioned something Mr N said in his sleep, and it brought forth peels of laughter from him and Boeboe, and it made me smile in happiness. Peanut took both her hands today, used them to turn my head to her face as she was standing on my lap, and planted a very soppy kiss on my lips. In front of the whole reception room full of people. That made me happy! And when Monkeyman greeted me at the gate of his school today, smiling happily because I was there. That made me happy. :-)

I can go on and on, but that's what makes my day. That's why I was able to stand strong the past 3 stressful months. Because the happiness they bring to my heart. And in the afternoon, when I had a hard day, I can just lean against my husband when he gets home, and I'll always feel safe and happy in his arms. As long as I have these 5 people in my life, I'll be happy and sound. :-)

But okay, that wasn't the question really. So what, apart from my family, makes me happy?

• The sea. Waenhuiskrans in specific.
• Seeing other small children and babies. They always makes me smile. 
• Good music.
• Seeing good friends.
• Getting gifts (shallow, I know!).
• Buying something I really wanted.
• Having a pamper from the kids (foot or head massage or something similar).
• Watching a good show on tv.
• Going to the movies.
• Playing board or card games with my little family.
• Getting my baby to sleep (yes, bad mother I know, but it makes me happy, or maybe more relieved, when she falls asleep).
• Having a relaxing weekend with my little family.
• Playing a good computer or iPad game.
• Reading a good book.
• My house. Even after living here for more than a decade, it still makes me happy.
• The sun. When I'm down, all I need to do is go and sit in the sun for a while.
• Food. Yes, I may not look like it, but I really do love food, and alot of it is the "wrong" kind of food. Oops.
• Coffee. Nothing beats a good cup of coffee after running around all morning.
• Technology. I just love all the new things on the market - iPad, smartphones, PVR's, etc.
• Christmas. Best time of the year for me!
• Spoiling my children or husband. Even if it's just with a nice pudding or good meal.

I'm pretty sure I can list another 20 things, but since it's almost midnight, I'll stop now. Clearly, I'm easy to please...hahahaha. Not that I'm the typical woman hey? Diamonds, shoes, shopping, new make up or weekends away isn't what makes me happy. Poor hubby, it must be confusing when your wife doesn't fit the mould. No wonder he struggles with birthday gifts!!

Fantastic news!!!

I still can't believe that I'm able to type this, but Monkeyman's PH has resolved!!!!!! It's just absolutely amazing.

Cardiologist did a repeat echo, and said the enlarged pulmonary arteries hs started to shrink back to normal, the right heart ventricle is also shrinking, the regurgitation is less (not gone, but less!) and the pulmonary arterial pressures has gone down from in the 30's to 16 (which is normal). Whoohoo!!!!

So overall, his pulmonary hypertension is cured, which is just astounding because it almost never happens! It's an incurable disease, but, if you're lucky and it was secondary to sleep apnea, it might resolve if you treat the sleep apnea. Which we did, in Monkeyman's case, when the ENT took his enlarged adenoids out. Isn't it strange that a kid that never snored, had such bad sleep apnea that he must've desat badly at night? Enough to cause his lungs to suffer so much from lack of oxygen, that it caused small changes in the arteries to the point of causing obstruction to the blood flow. I asked the doctor why if there's obstruction in the nose, and the child mouth breathes at night, would his oxygen levels still fall, and she said it's because he breaths less effectively through the mouth. That it's very shallow breathing. It makes sense.

I'm still in shock. Extremely relieved, but still in shock. I prepared myself for the worst today, and got the absolute best case scenario. I just assumed, what's the chances of Monkeyman also having the rarest case of a rare disease, just like Boeboe did? Gosh, I really have some special kids. Makes me humble.

Thank you for all the prayers and support and interest in my little boy's lot. I'm so happy to be able to report this good news. I'm still a tad worried about his tiredness and heart palpitations. His cardiologist said to just let him rest when he has heart palpitations, and to go back to the pead with his tiredness for some more bloodtests. And maybe first take a good b-complex multivit for a few months to see if it'll help. She also said she'll have a look at his blood tests to see if there's any reason why his iron levels dropped. Though, she doesn't think his iron levels is the cause of his strange tiredness. Maybe it's just how he is, who knows?! I don't anymore. Anyway, for now, I just want to celebrate the good news. Our little boy doesn't have PH anymore!!!!

Day 5: Ten songs I love

My heart isn't in the challenge today, as you can imagine. We're seeing the cardiologist for Monkeyman's follow up this afternoon. They're either going to tell us his PH is resolved because it was due to sleep apnea which has been treated 2 months ago by cutting the adenoids out. Or they're going to tell us his pulmonary hypertension pressures is still too high. I would've been more relaxed if he didn't have symptoms anymore. And if the alternative wasn't such a devastating disease. Life altering at the very least, fatal at the worst. I'll be sure to come and update as soon as I can.

Anyway, here goes. Ten favourite songs at the moment (mostly because some of them are on the CD that's currently in my car's CD player, I'm just too stressed out to sit and think about other songs I love).

1. Caravans
2. Hot and Cold (Nino de Angelo)
3. Guardian Angel (also Nino de Angelo)
4. Jy's te dierbaar, om seer te kry
5. Living next door to Alice
6. Conquest of paradise
7. Onse Vader
8. Nogtans sal ek jubel
9. Balade for Adeline
10. Tussen treine

OK, there's hundreds more, but those were the first 10 that came to mind. Not because they're my favourites, but because I like them and heard them in the past week on tv, CD or radio. And they're some of my favourites.

Day 4: What are you afraid of

Hmmm, today's challenge is an easy one. I'll list my fears, and will try to limit it to 10. Yeah yeah, I'm a scaredy cat, I know!

I'm afraid of:
1. Loosing a loved one. (Aren't we all?)
2. Leaving my children motherless.
3. One of my children being kidnapped.
4. Spiders. Any and all, but especially poisonous ones. I don't kill all daddy long legs for example, because I don't fear them that much. But if a button spider or sac spider comes near me, I kill it.
5. Snakes.
6. Heights. Driving through a mountain pass is the absolute worst.
7. Speed. Especially speeding cars.
8. Lightning. (It might sound strange to someone not living in SA, or here on the highlands. But the lightning storms here is exceptionally bad. Numerous people are killed every summer where I live.
9. World War III. Not a big fear, just a small worry when reading the newspapers sometimes.
10. Civil war in my country. This isn't a conscious fear, it's more of a mild concern.
11. My daughters (and sons) getting raped in this "rape capital of the world" we live in.
12. My children or husband being attacked, killed, robbed, hurt, murdered, hi-jacked, kidnapped, etc. in this crime ridden country of ours.
13. One of my children going "off the rails" onto a path of drugs or something similar that would destroy their future.
14. My husband not growing old with me (or me with him!).

And lastly, but not the least, one fear today specifically:
15. That Monkeyman's echo won't show improvement on his pulmonary pressures tomorrow, or that the dr is wrong about the cause of his PH.

OK, that was more than 10. I said I'm a scaredy cat, didn't I. ;-) I have to add, it's not as if I sit all day and stress about the above mentioned fears. I'm not a negative person, usually. Quite the opposite, I'm "the glass is half-full" type of person. Unfortunately, I'm also a realist and very logical, and quite statistical. And all of above is possibilities, however remote, chances are there so it scares me. But I'm also a Christian, so I believe whatever is put on our road, we will handle with the help of God.

Day 3: My favourite Quote

My favourite quote has a bit of a story to it. Explaining why I love it so much. I came from a very sheltered childhood. My parents moved to this small, little town in the middle of nowhere when I was age 5. It was far, far away from any of their families. So while I grew up, my parents would never leave us anywhere so that they could have a fun night out, go away for a weekend without us children or leave us somewhere for a holiday without children. I slept over at friends' houses from very early on, so it's not because they were super paranoid. I guess it was a combination of having no one to leave their children with, and not feeling the need to do it.

So imagine growing up in a VERY small town, rarely going anywhere and except for sleepovers with friends, never being away from your parents, ever. Then, age 18 after school, you're send away to study at univarcity in the big bad city with the prospect of going home one weekend every term (a term is about 10 weeks long), and 4 holidays a year. It was very, very hard on me, a total mommy's girl. I missed my parents to the point of being in physical pain. I missed my home. I missed my things. I missed my school friends. I missed the quiet, country life. I hated the city. I hated the people in the city. I hated the fast pace, the noise, the traffic, the sheer number of people. I hated the difference in cultures which made me feel different and awkward. I missed my language (city was English mostly, while everyone, black and white, spoke Afrikaans where I came from). I missed the values and integrity I was raised with in the country. The city girls were just... different.

I was very lonely. I did make an exceptionally good friend. She too came from the country, had very high standards and morals and we were very similar. In time, I created a small niche for myself, filled it with like-minded people and I grew up. I met my husband and enjoyed studying so much in the end that I also did my Honors degree full time. But in the beginning, it was very, very difficult.

In that time of missing my parents and school friends, I read this short story about a girl who was so very very lonely. Her loneliness was so profound, that it attracted a being from outer space. It flew to earth, contacted her and gave her a message before it passed away. Of course, everyone demanded to know what wisdom it parted to her. What secret intelligence did it possess. But, it was only a message. A message for her, that really touched my soul, because at that moment, I could relate and understand. The message meant the world to me in a time I needed to know that I wasn't alone. That even though it felt like I was the only person on planet earth, I wasn't.

“There is in certain living souls a quality of loneliness unspeakable, so great it must be shared as company is shared by lesser beings. Such a loneliness is mine; so know by this that in immensity there is one lonelier than you.”  - Theodore Sturgeon

Day 2: 20 Facts about me

I'm (very) late with this post and it's only the 2nd day of the challenge! I've had a very hectic day.

And geez, this is hard. It would've been easier giving 20 facts about each of the 4 kids, than about me. Hmmm, let's see...

1. I'm a Christian.
2. My favourite books are: all books by Anne McCaffrey, Earth Children series and Harry Potter series. I read these on a yearly basis.
3. I love computer games. My all time favourites are Tex Murphy (a new one's coming out end 2013 - whoohoo!!!!!!), Sims 2 (sims 3 just never felt as good), Rise of Nations, Age of Empires 2, Warcraft 2 and Might and Magic.
4. I'm the youngest of 4 siblings.
5. I've always, since I was a tiny little girl, wanted 5 children - 3 girls and 2 boys.
6. I had an exceptionally good relationship with my mother.
7. I've written (not published) a manuscript.
8. I suck(ed) at sport. Always have. Always will.
9. I'm not competitive at all, and find it mildly amusing to see how competitive other people are/get.
10. I seriously considered studying astronomy after school, but the opportunities in those years were very limited in my country. I also contemplated a medical degree, but some other factors prevented this from happening.
11. I'd rather eat a pack of crisps, than a slice of cake. Though I do love tarts.
12. I can play (a little) piano and guitar, though I'm not really musical and can't sing a note in tune!
13. I've never qualified to donate blood (being underweight disqualifies you).
14. I don't drink alcohol. Nothing against it. Just don't feel the need.
15. I've never smoked/took any illegal substance, and won't ever. Way too much of a control freak.
16. I faint fairly regularly.
17. I'm allergic to most flowers.
18. I've had reconstructive facial surgery.
19. I've been married for 15 years, and hope for another 40!
20. I had a very very happy childhood. I'm hoping to give my children the same.

Blog challenge Day 1: Introduction

Along with some other bloggers, I'm going to attempt a 30 day blogging challenge. We've been given 30 topics, one for each day, starting today, the 1st of August. Today is just an introduction and photo.

This is me (with my youngest).

It was a challenge in itself to find a recent photo of me without having my sunglasses on! My eyes are exceptionally sensitive to the sun, so the moment I step outside, I put the glasses on.

So who exactly am I? Wel, I'm an almost 40, happily married, stay-at-home mom to 4 beautiful kids, living in sunny South Africa. I grew up in the hottest part of our country, the Kalahari. It's a semi-desert region, very dry and very hot. I moved to the city to study, and worked for 4 years after completing my degrees. I got married to my univarcity love, and when I almost lost our unborn baby during my first pregnancy, I decided to become a stay at home mom after his birth. That was 12 years ago! During that 12 years we've added 3 more little ones to our family. They're 12, 9, 5 and 1. When my eldest was 5, he was diagnosed with epilepsy. My 2nd eldest was diagnosed at age 7 with an occult tethered cord (her road to diagnosis started at age 5), and now that my youngest son turned 5, we heard he has a very very rare heart-lung disease. So we're kinda still in shock, waiting to see what his prognosis is. We're also supersticious enough to wonder what our youngest baby will be diagnosed with when she turns 5.

So a bit more about me? Well, I'm a logical thinker. Academically inclined, not creative AT ALL. I love keeping my brain occupied, while my body is stationary (LOL). I hate hate hate excersize, I hate using my hands, and I have loads of "issues" as my dear husband calls it. ;-) I'm a tad OCD, I have sensory integration problems so don't you dare touch my hands! I have some health issues which I refuse to research or do something about, while I will spend every last second I have to research whatever ails my children (I told you I have issues!!). I absolutely love the internet, google and chatting on multiple forums. I hate driving, I hate city-living and I hate rain and having wet socks. I'm impatient but kind, I'm hot-headed but will share my last rolo without a second thought. I'm honest to a fault, and stubborn as can be. I'm opinionated, can stand up for myself, but hate confrontation face to face. I'm extremely loyal, and very very lazy. I always say, I'm a full time mom rather than a housewife, because I hate housework and I'm awful at it. My house is always in some state of dissarray. I absolutely LOVE being a mom, and if I had the means, and a womb that could, I would've had at least one or 2 more children. I adore the baby stage, and so far, the pre-teen phase. I also love being married to my husband. Without him, I'd be lost.

Gosh, I hope that's enough about me? My life is about my kids, I don't care about me. I don't wear make-up, I don't dye or hi-lite my hair. I don't do my nails or go for massages. I don't wear the newest fashions. And I don't care about any of that. My husband, my children and my house, with family and friends thrown in, that's all I care about.

So yeah, that's me. Tomorrow, the challenge is: "20 Facts about you". So I'll have to have a long, hard think about that tonight. ;-)