PART VI: My road

So before I explain, I have to go back to 2014. But first, let me apologise. I do not like writing much about myself. About my feelings and my children, yes. But happenings in my own personal life? Not so much. Unfortunately, this is exactly what I have to do, for it all to make sense in the end. The next parts will thus all be about me. Don't worry, eventually I'll move onto what it truly is about, it won't stay about me forever. Please thus bear with me. If you can't, skip these parts or skim over it. 

In 2014, we were looking at different high schools for Mr N for 2015. We decided on one, a public high school, but then my friend asked why don't we attend the Open Day for the high school attached to the primary school she was working at. They were just starting it from 2015, thus a brand new high scool. She wanted to apply as a teacher there. She was already teaching maths at the primary school for a year by then, but were more interested in teaching the older children. And it being a totally new curriculum, Cambridge, was an intriguing challenge for her.

As mentioned, we attended, fell in love with both schools, high and primary, and moved all 3 children to start in 2015. After we were approved end 2014, my friend mentioned to the headmaster that I had the qualifications they were actually looking for, even if I didn't particularly have teaching experience. They wanted someone to teach Computer Science at their new high school. So they invited me for an interview. I have an Honours degree in Mathematical Sciences with Computer Science as a major. But haven't worked in 14 years.

I was flabbergasted about the interview. Anxious. Unsure. Torn apart.

I wanted it with everything in my being, but Peanut was just 2.5 years old!! Then they told me, but she can come along, they have a playschool for little ones up to the year before grade R, and there's about 6 or 7 kids already there. It seemed too perfect. On top of that, they asked if I'd take my friend's primary school maths over as well, while they move her into the high school. I only had to teach grade 7 maths with the grade 8 Computer Science class. Since this wasn't a lot, as there were only one class in each grade, I was employed part-time, with NO extra-curricular responsibilities, and could come and go as I please. Not full day or full morning. Only a couple of hours a day. As long as I was there to teach my subjects at the required times. About 7-8 hours a week.

WOW.

Tell me you don't see God's Hand in all of this?

Because what did I do to deserve that?

My salary wasn't large, but big enough to cover all school fees, especially since we received a discount because I was a teacher there. Again, wow. So financially we were better off, with no school fees and I get to do a part time job of about 10 hours a week (I tended to spend some more on preparing and marking, etc. but basically it boiled down to 15 hours a week). On top of being on holidays at the same time as my children, always off on all afternoons with them. They even gave me a desk in one of the offices where I could spend time preparing or marking, and allowed my children to come find me there as or when needed. How perfect it all was.

And a new challenge for me. Just as my last baby was becoming independent of me. I couldn't say no, even if I never intended to put Peanut into a school age 2.5. If it was Monkeyman, I would not have been able to. But Peanut absolutely LOVED it. She was such a social child from the start. She did cry a few times, but since it was such a relaxing environment, I was even able to take her with me to class on such days and just put her in a corner and keep her busy with my i-Pad or colouring or such. The kids adored those days I brought her into class with me, they loved her. Mostly though, she wanted to be with her friends, and her teacher. It was a few meters from my classroom and I could even watch her play from my window when they were outside. How awesome!

It was absolutely, heartbreakingly perfect. And thus, I could only thank God for it.
That was 2015. They pulled me more into the high school for 2016, with then 2 grades to teach, and gave me one of the high school maths classes. So I left the primary school teaching. So me and my friend worked very closely together that year, and I learned so much from her. She was also only employed part time, as she too was actually a SAHM with 4 little ones. During 2017 I had three grades in the high school to teach, and in 2018, there were four. Mr N's class was always the oldest class, the icebreakers.

Oh, how I adored teaching. I loved every minute. Especially the Highschoolers. And would always be grateful to everyone who made it happen for me. The school. The owners. The headmasters. The teachers. The kids I taught. Their parents. I was in my element. When I was a little girl, all I wanted to do, was teach and be a mommy. Both my parents and grandparents on one side were teachers, as well as some other extended family and forefathers from at least 100 years ago. It's in my blood. But my parents refused to let me study as a teacher. Teaching was an ungrateful job. They believed I should do something “more”. I listened to them. But when I became a teacher eventually, I realised how wrong they were. THIS was where I belonged. Teaching. I was made to teach. I do not regret studying Computers instead. I also love and adored programming, and would always be grateful that my parents gave me an education after school. Without it, I would not have gotten this perfect teaching job in the end! 

I need to interject here. When I was around 16 or 17, my very good friend made a bet with me. She said I'm going to become a teacher one day. By that stage, my parents had long already said no to that, so I laughed and said no way. She said she will bet me a bottle of champaigne that I will. We made the bet, and after my studies, when I started working as a computer programmer, I always thought, Sisca, you still owe me a bottle of champaigne!! And then... here in my 40's, without even studying it, I became a teacher. Just like she prophecied. Sisca, I was wrong, you were right, and it is me who owes you a bottle of champaigne! I hope to see you again some day, to hand over (and hopefully share!) that bottle. 

I quickly became very good friends with the other teachers, from 2015 when I started, even though I don't normally befriend people that easily. Since I worked in both the high school and primary school, I made friends amongst both. But the high school took more time and meetings and working closely together since it was a new start up. We thus became a core group, quite close to each other. We had to figure it out together, with a brand new way of doing things, a brand new curriculum, a brand new school. And brand new high school kids. One of them my son, Mr N.

Peanut most days refused when I was done with my classes, to leave, so I would spend time working in the office until either she was ready to go, or the day finishes for all kids at lunch time. Except Mr N, their day only finished at 4pm, because sports and study classes were included in the day, so my hubby fetched him after work while the rest of us went home around lunchtime.

Then, about 2 years after I started working there, the one primary school teacher had a falling out with the headmasters or owners, I don't know the story. She resigned. Then another teacher. She also resigned. And a third. Then, the primary school headmaster itself resigned. Then, it was one of my friends at the high school. Also resigned. Thereafter, in 2018, it was Peanut's teacher. Also resigning, causing Peanut to spin into this spiral of depressing and heartache and hurt. One of Boeboe's teacher's thereafter.

Then, one of my very, very close friends at the high school. He too resigned, with his wife who was also a teacher on the primary school side. I was so sad to see them go. At this stage, the pattern became clear. Thereafter it was my closest friend, the one who got me the job there. She saw the writing on the wall and resigned shortly after. She refused to drag it out, to make it painful. She had other job opportunities and didn't need to stay in a toxic environment. But before she left, she told the one owner exactly what was wrong, who is behind some of it and what should've been done. She did not keep quiet at all, but spelled it all out. And then she left. Unfortunately, he dismissed all she said. And soon after another one of our group left.

And so I was one of the last ones there, after almost 4 years, of our original core group. Three years of absolute wonderment, enjoyment, fulfilment and happiness there. And one year of complete devastation of it all. Like a mountain breaking up, stones falling until just a heap of rubble left standing. It was bewildering. Almost all my friends were gone. It was so very sad. It hurt. Badly. The last 9 months there were a haze of one awful thing after another.

Amongst it the refusal from the one teacher to help my daughter when she was bullied by another child. When she herself then said some inexcusable things to my daughter in class, I too realised. The writing is also on the wall for me. Touch me, and I can ignore it. But touch my kids, and I turn into a mama bear. I'd rather loose my job than let that slide.

So I threw my toys out of the cot, knowing I was burning bridges this time. It was too little too late, and the end result was the psychiatrist telling us to take Boeboe out IMMEDIATELY, if we care for her. Which then also removed her as the object of manipulation for this toxic person.

But by then, I knew the road ahead. I knew my time there was coming to an end. I told them we're going to homeschool the youngest children. And if needed be, I was prepared to homeschool Mr N as well. I offered to still teach the grade 8-10's. They had to appoint another teacher for the gr 11's already, since I didn't feel I was qualified enough to give them the best support. So it made sense for them to get someone to teach all the grades, from 8-12 in 2019. My contract was thus not renewed, and I said goodbye, and I started full time homeschooling thereafter with the youngest 3 children.

You may wonder, why leave mr N in such a toxic environment? Well, it was just the 1 person who was truly toxic. The new teachers in the place of my friends were also good people. Good teachers. And one of them in particular promised to look out for Mr N herself. I knew her mom, she was Monkeyman's one teacher at his old playschool. And she and I were also friends that last year there. She's good people. I knew I could trust her to really look out for him. She understood what happened, and she herself was keeping her distance from the toxic person.

Mr N was also never a target, never a problem, and actually their best candidate. Even that teacher's best candidate in her subject. Lastly, he would soon after have turned 18. An adult. He was capable of fending for himself, with me keeping a very very close eye on things. And it was just 10 months left of schooling, then he was done. I believed it would be fine. I spoke openly to him about it all, and also gave him the choice. He wanted to stay.

And despite how it all ended, I remembered what they gave me. I'm, to this day, grateful for the opportunity, for the experience, for the care of my children, for the wonderful environment it was until that last year. I'll always be grateful for the 4 years I worked there. Always. It overrides the ugliness at the end. I loved it all. I loved the kids. I loved the parents. I still miss them!! I left on good terms with the kids and the parents. I knew I did good by them, the kids in my classes. Their results showed it. But more than that. They did good by me. I learned more from them, than they from me. And for that, I would always be grateful to the school and the owners who gave me a chance, when I didn't deserve it.

And it did turn out fine for Mr N. He had a very good last year with his friends. He wrote his exams (it was external, so not under that teacher's control), got excellent marks, said his goodbyes and moved on with his life. Very successfully.

Shortly after.... things went pear shaped for the woman, and sadly, for the school. From the titbits I heard, she too resigned about 2 years later. Unfortunately, the school also closed down about another 2 years later. It saddened me so very, very much. They gave me so much, I wanted them to succeed. 

Through it all, I saw God's Hand working, making a new way for us. Helping us to find a better path ahead. So when the whole lockdowns and mask-mandate happened in 2020, me and my children were completely unaffected as we were long gone from the formal school environment. I was so very grateful they weren't in a school during that time, nor were I a teacher during that time. So again I could only be grateful for the years I had there, but also the fact that it came to an end when it did. God's timing was perfect.

To continue here...