Yes, we're STILL waiting....

Sorry, I know some of you have asked, but no, we STILL do not have a surgery date. The two neurosurgeons had their chat about Boeboe, but nothing's decided just yet. The receptionist phoned me to tell me that we can relax, it's not urgent, and that we must go on our holiday in March and then come and see the neurosurgeon afterwards to discuss everything. That would be mid-April. If we wait for that, we'll only have a surgery date in May or June!!! Can you believe that?

I told the receptionist that this may not be a medical emergency, but we're dealing with the issues DAY AFTER DAY. Each and every day. This is urgent, in OUR eyes at least. So she made me an appointment as soon as there was an opening, so we'll be seeing the neurosurgeon 23 February. In the meantime, she made a note for him to phone me, which he'll hopefully do over this weekend or so. Hold thumbs! I'll update as soon as I've heard from him.

In the meantime, I bought the biggest pull-ups available in our country (which is still very small - it's made for children age 2 or 3). Fortunately Boeboe has such a slight build so she kinda still fits in it, though it's stretching quite a bit. Anyway, I bought the pull-ups to take with to school for bad days. But the moment she saw them, she jumped up and down in joy and immediately grabbed one to put on. I was blown away. So later on I went to talk to her, and I asked her why she is so happy about the pull-ups. She told me because she had an accident at school and the classroom was locked (it was breaktime) so she couldn't get her bag (with clean clothes). Since then, she's been wearing the nappies non-stop. :(

I'm a bit confused about it all. On the one hand, I feel so much relief for her sake. It's as if a weight is lifted from her (and my) shoulders. She doesn't have to stress about accidents anymore. And she doesn't have the embarressment of it anymore. But on the other hand, I feel like she's embraced it too well. Too easy. Is this it now? Is this what it has come to, after 4 years, to be put back into nappies again? It saddens me. But it also free's me. Does that makes sense?

Gosh, if I'm so full of conflicting emotions about this, how must my poor little girl feel? Though, to be honest, she still looks and sounds and seems just excited and happy to have a "good" plan. Something that can help her. And even when another boy noticed the nappies at school and called her a baby, it didn't phase her in the least. I tried to give her tools on how to handle the situation the next time it arises. But she just shrugged me off and said "Mommy, I do not mind being called a baby. But next time I'll just tell him about the problem in my back". What a big, wonderful and emotionally strong little girl I have!

Boeboe (around age 8 months)