Holiday!!!

I'm such a bad blogger! I've been quiet for 3 weeks!!

My excuse: The exam!

I worked soooo hard with Mr N for his exam. I can't believe how much time it takes. For the mother. I have absolutely no idea how a working mommy can cope with the kids' workloads! I had to constantly work with Mr N. Send him to study, then he comes out after 30 minutes all excited "Mommy, I'm done!". Then I question him (which takes anything between 30 to 60 minutes!!!!). Only to realise (to Mr N's horror) that after reading 3 times through your work, you only remembers about 20% of it...hahahaha. Then, sending Mr N back. After another 20 minutes he'll come running out exclaiming that THIS time he knows it. After spending another 30 minutes on questioning him, I send him back. Because lo and behold, he only knows 40% of the work. Hahahahaha. Poor boy. So as you can imagine, it took quite a huge chunk of my time questioning him until he knew it 100%. And multiply that for 9 subjects, and you know what I've done with the month of June!

So yes, it took me hours and hours and hours of questioning Mr N, to help him understand the work and realise what he knows, and what needs more studying. The poor thing really, really, really worked SO hard. Studying every day for 4 weeks! It paid off though. He still hasn't received his rapport (only after the holiday), but so far he has received 93%, 87% and 77%. I'm very chuffed with him. So proud. And he was pleased as a kitten with a plate of milk after he received his marks. Even, or maybe especially, the 77%. Because that's the most difficult, most non-sensical subject you can imagine (economic managing science). And all the kids did quite badly. Mr N's mark was only 3 points lower than the child that did best in his class. So we were quite relieved that he still got such a good mark for it. I was dreading it, because after he wrote, he told me that he mixed 2 questions up. One was 6 marks, and one was 5 marks. That's 11 out of the 30!!!

I just don't know if it's worth pushing Mr N so much. I think next term I'm gonna work more playtime into his schedule, and one day off for every week's studying. It's just impossible to keep going like he did. Although, he LOVED getting those good marks! Right up there with the best in the class, and with his (quite intelligent) 2 best friends! He would've felt so bad if they all did well, and he not.

About Boeboe: Yes, it's going well. Extremely well...:) We had one bad hiccup. She woke me up around 2 months after the operation, one night at 3am. Mommy, I wet the bed. After settling her, I laid awake for 2 hours. Unable to sleep. It was just such a big letdown. Such a worry. But, since then (about 2 weeks now) she's been dry again at night. So I'm breathing again. I just can't describe the mix of emotions I went through. The range of the what-ifs. The psychologist tried to assure me, that this really is it. That I shouldn't despair so much after a hiccup. That I should not fear like I do, every day. That I must accept the results now. But man oh man oh man. We've had soooooo many times that we were disappointed. Living life a certain way for 4 years. It's difficult to shift your mind after 2 months. Sometimes I think I'm gonna wake up, and realise the operation was just a dream. The dream I had of doing it for 18 months. Of finding THE dr that can do it. That will do it. So many, many, many nights I've researched tethered cord until 1am in the mornings. Dreading, but praying, for an untethering operation. I wanted it with every fibre of my being. But I was sooooo scared that my research has diagnosed my daughter. And that I was wrong. What would I have told my husband if I was wrong. When the dr told us directly after the operation that he couldn't cut the filum....that the operation failed...I died a thousand deaths. And I was just thinking....how do I look her and her daddy in the eye. Telling them that I was wrong. Wrong for researching this. Wrong for believing this. Wrong for pushing for this. I've never felt so awful in my life. And then, 4 days later we hear the words that the cord WAS indeed tethered. I'm still too scared to believe that!!! 2 Months down the line and I still cannot believe it. It's too amazing. I so so so so so wish the video machine in the theatre wasn't broken. I would've really loved seeing what happened in that theatre. But maybe, a Higher Hand caused the video machine to break. Maybe, there's some things we're not allowed to see. Not allowed to know. Maybe sometimes....we just need faith.

So yes, except for 1 hiccup with the constipation and encopresis, and 1 hiccup with the needles and pins, and 1 hiccup with the nighttime accident...she's doing so well. Still having 1 daytime accident about once every week or 2 weeks. So about 2-3 times a month. We're entering the 3rd month now, so let's see how it goes. Usually, 3 months is sort of the cut-off point for the most improvements after the untethering operation.

Sometimes, I close my eyes, and I'm just so surprised at how life is turning out. It's so good. So wonderful. I want to grab hold of it and just hold on tightly. Why did Boeboe have to have the tethered cord? I don't know. Such a rare, rare, rare thing to have. Probably one of a handful of people in our whole country to have an occult tethered cord. Why she? And then, I think of how amazing her road has been. In our search for answers. For help. And then, to land up at dr L. Do you know what's sad to me? Last year March, we were referred by the pead to go and see a neurosurgeon. She phoned me. I remember sitting in my car in the children's school's parking lot. Waiting for the bell to ring. I was reading the "Vrouekeur" (a magazine in our country). The pead phoned and told me to go see one of the following 3 surgeons. Dr M, Dr L and another. I wrote them all down on my magazine. On the page I was reading. Staring at them. Then I went to fetch Boeboe from her class (in grade 1 you have to fetch them from the teacher). When we climbed back into the car, Boeboe asked me why I was so preoccupied. I picked the magazine up and showed her the 3 names. I said that her doctor phoned me, and that she thinks one of these doctors may be able to help us. Boeboe looked at the names and said, "Mommy, let's go to that one". And she pointed to Dr M.

Dr M turned out to be the wrong choice. How much time have we wasted? How many many months. At least 6. We should've gone to Dr L then already. I wonder how it would've panned out. Have we made a different choice that day in the car. And you know why Boeboe chose dr M? Because his surname started with the same letter her name starts with. At age 6, that's what attracted her to his name. :(

In the end though, I do believe we walk the path we had to walk. And we had a good ending, so I'm not really bitter about anything. Looking at my daughter, I sometimes marvel at how very very far we've come. With all the medical visits. All the pain. All the embarrassment. All the frustration.

We're also almost done with the psychologist!!! Just one more appointment, after school started again, so that she can just touch base with Boeboe. If all's well, we're done until/if we need her again one day! Whoohoo!!! I'll miss seeing her regularly, and I'll miss bouncing ideas and frustrations off with her. But I won't miss the almost 3k a month!

So, now it's school holidays. Winter holiday. We've waited for this holiday with so much anticipation. Almost 4 weeks of sleeping in. Snuggling under the blankets. Sitting in the winter sun, just reading. Watching tv, playing computer games. And visiting!!! It's only our first week, and we're already fully booked. Today the in-laws that visited over the weekend, left, and we took Mr N for an occupational therapy evaluation (for his terrible car illness). Tomorrow, my nephew and niece is visiting. Wednesday we're going to Spur (local family restaurant with lovely children's play area) with friends, for breakfast. Thursday nephew and niece is visiting again. Friday, a friend is bringing her 3 kids for a visit. So a busy, but exciting week waiting for us!

Boeboe was soooo difficult the past two weeks. We've been hands in the hair with her tantrumming, moaning and crying. Then, on Friday school closed. And guess what? She's been a little angel the past 3 days! Wow. I guess she was just extremely tired. I can imagine. Her term started by getting home from a 5000km road trip and seaside holiday. Then, a few days later, she was operated on. Spending 9 days in hospital, and we all know how much rest you get in hospital! Then her recovery took a whole 6 weeks. Not cool if you're 7. Shortly there after, she had to start with the extra maths, trying to catch up on the school work she missed, and starting the speech therapy (which has ALLOT of homework). No wonder she crashed at the end of term. I just never thought it through. Poor poor little girl. Today, she's having a blast with her brothers. They've played and played and played. Like a little girl of 7 should do. I was thinking of starting her speech therapy again this week, and practising her multiplication tables. But I realise now she just needs time to rest. To completely get over everything that happened to her. She's been such a trooper. At some point though, even troopers have to rest and recover and get their bearings aligned again.

Monkeyman is showing signs of tiredness again. Not too bad. It's such an up and down with him. But he's loving having his brother and sister home with him! And he's getting more fierce now. Not just like a little sheep in the herd, just going with the flow. He's opposing me now when he feels it's warranted (not via tantrums, just saying No, or talking about it). He's dressing himself. He's also much happier. Laughing, being silly, joking around with us. Such a beautiful thing to watch him develop into his own unique personality. I love my calm, sweet, contend little monkey! I've said it previously, but it's just so apt. He's like a calm, deep, slow-flowing river. No upheavals. No upsets. No flooding the riverbanks!