I can't believe it's December already. The children are on summer holiday!!! We're having a blast at home. Though, poor Mr N had a strep-throat last week that really caught him badly. Even had the rash! Very similar to the scarlet fever he had the year before, except no strawberry tongue this time. Fortunately, nobody contracted it from him. Unfortunately, he was too ill to attend his school's merits evening. He was invited, but we still don't know for what exactly.
We received Boeboe's books back for the term, and wow, we were impressed! She did so very very well. Her understanding is definitely much better. I'm so pleased for her. And I'm hoping for a MUCH less hectic year with her next year. She'll be going to grade 3, which I found the easiest of the grades 1-3 with Mr N. The work is less intense, mostly hammering in of certain concepts. So not so much overwhelmingly new work. And they're old enough to start doing nearly all homework by themselves. Except of course, still reading to mom every day. :) She's taken to reading so much! She reads in bed every night. Not for long, but she loves it and it makes me soooooo happy. She says she wants to become clever. Her teacher told her reading makes you clever, LOL.
She's still throwing tantrums, still having accidents, still hurting her feet. But she's doing so well in other ways, that I'd rather concentrate on that now. Yesterday, she did 2 things that her brother forgot. Both were told the same 2 things to remember, and only she did. I was very surprised, stunned and happy about that! Happy that my responsible boy can have fun and be irresponsible for a change, and extremely happy that my careless, "loskop" daughter can be responsible for a change, and REMEMBER. Using her memory! It was a great feeling. I rewarded her with a much wanted packet of sweets, LOL. Oh, for those non-Afrikaans people..."loskop" means to be loose in your head. So you're not thinking. You're careless. You're all over the place. Hope this makes sense?
It's also going well with Monkeyman. He's getting quite a personality these past few weeks. When he's upset or angry, he needs to remove himself, hide and take time to recover. It's so sweet and cute. First child of mine that does/need that. Totally opposite of Boeboe! Who will keep on screaming, tantrumming, until her anger/frustration/hurt was dealt with by me...sympathising, disciplining, etc. Monkeyman just needs a minute to be by himself, then he'll be all happy and loving and smiling again. Amazing.
Anyway, I didn't just want to give an update today. I've been mulling something over in my head. Wondering at people's reactions. Those that know me, knows that I'm very passionate about a few things. One of them is the schooling situation in our country. I can't speak for all cultures, all cities, all people in SA. So I'm just going to speak from my point of view...which is middle class, professional people. Most women like me, about 70% I'd guess, works. Either out of choice, or necessity. Most people choose the lifestyle that goes with getting 2 salaries. I don't blame them. I would most likely have done the same, if I wasn't in the fortunate position where we could (almost) reach that lifestyle with only one salary. But, I had the option, so I chose to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). So my experiences and viewpoints are from this experience, of course.
I have an issue with creches for small babies. Lots of issues with it. I won't go into it now, because it'll take too long. But I understand that when you work (want to or are forced to), that you'll have to look at the positives to be able to drop your 4-month old baby in a teacher's arms 5 days a week, for about 8-9 hours. Some of my friends even have to leave their babies for up to 11 hours, if traffic is bad, etc.
What I do want to talk about, is the way some mothers not only turn this into a positive...but a necessity!!! This really shock me. I try to be sympathetic, or stay out of it by not replying in conversations, but it bugs me. It really, really bugs me. So the past few months, I've had a couple of "run-ins" with other mothers who told me their opinion. Every time I've decided to not reply, because I know myself. I feel too passionate about it, and it WILL come out wrong. A very good SAHM friend of mine once told me that we (SAHM's) will never understand working moms, because of the choice we've made. We didn't make the choice because we just felt like it. We made the choice because of WHO we ARE. It's ingrained in us. It's part of us. That means we have a totally different outlook in life. Not because we're a SAHM. But...we're a SAHM because of that outlook. It's a fundamental difference between the two groups. And that's why we don't understand working mommies (I'm generalising here, of course). And why they don't understand us. And that's why working mommies tend to be friends with working mommies, and SAHM's tend to be friends with other SAHM's. Of course, this doesn't mean I don't have working mommy friends. I'm again, just generalising for the sake of the argument.
Anyway, what happened was that I was having a really hard time with Monkeyman's shyness the past 6 months. Sometimes I wonder if it started by me "abandoning" him with Boeboe's operation in April, or if it's just an age thing or what. But at some point, I realised he's really the worst of my 3 (shy) kids. It's really painful to him. Let me explain.
When we go to a children's party, visiting friends, go to his playschool, etc. Any place where there's other CHILDREN (he has NO problem with adults!!) he will climb on my lap. He'll refuse to speak, and if any child (except his siblings) would just so much as look at him, he'll hide his face under my arm, head turned away into me. He'll even close his eyes. If the child will try to speak to him, he won't even just hide, he'll literally starts crying, or being upset. Even at school if the children starts to sing a song together, he'll be terrified.
Now, you may think this is extreme and abnormal. But to me, it's not. It's me. That's how I was. That's how I am. So I don't mind it much. Not at all. I know that he CAN and WILL grow out of most of it, and start to socialise when he's ready. I know this, because I know HIM. The way he acts around his siblings, is so totally normal. He'll be exuberant, playful, running around, not needing me at all. And when he's in safe surroundings, like his house, and only ONE child visits, he'll be fine! If there's 2, he'll be a little timid, but after a while, starts to play with them. If we visit one child, he'll take a few minutes and then starts to play. When we visit a house with more than 1 child, it'll take him a bit longer. You see the pattern? If there's allot of children, even those he knows well, like friends' kids, he'll take about an hour to start playing.
So what's my point? The fact that a number of friends and family (all working mommies) has made me understood that in their opinion, I'm the problem. Not Monkeyman. It's because of ME that he's like that. They say, if I would just FORCE him to go to school, he'll learn to socialise and enjoy it. He's hanging onto me, accordingly to them, because I'm the one that can't let go.
I think the emotion I feel the most clearly after these accusations, is sadness. Sadness for their callousness. Sadness for what I guess they did to their children. Sadness for the way they see the world. Sadness for their children that is forced into situations they can't handle. Sadness for how little they understand me, and the dynamics between me and my children. Sadness for how little they understand my child. Sadness for how little sympathy and empathy they have for my child.
I guess it's like being thrown into the deep water to teach someone to swim. Yes, it works for some children. Yes, it's one way of handling the "problem". But WHY do I NEED to do THAT? There's soooooo many other options! Why am I being blamed, for choosing the typical SAHM option, and not the Working mommy option? Why is it "normal" in our country, our society, for a child to be ripped away from their mothers when they're not ready? Why should a 4-month old be away from their mother? Why should a 2-year old be away from their mother? Why should a 4-year old be away from their mother? If they're not ready? What's so WRONG about being WITH your mother? Needing her? Wanting her? At what age should this separation happen? Clearly not at 4-months? So if people can do that to their 4-month old babies, why do they need to tell me I'm the wrong one in this equation, just because my child is 3? How can MY wrong, be so wrong, and THEIR choices just be what's right/acceptable/good? How and why did this happen to society? Where it's MORE right for a 4-month old to be away from their mother, than a 3-year old being close to their mother??!!
My opinion is that children DO grow up. They DO gain independence. I never hold my children BACK on purpose. But I also don't PUSH them into something they're clearly not ready to do. WHY? What will I gain? What will the kid gain? And at what cost? If the cost, the hurt, seems more to me than the bit of independence gained, why should I do it? Independence WILL come. If I force it or not. So why force it? I really don't see Monkeyman still sitting on my lap age 6 in grade R! Or hiding his face from a group of children. And I'll be ready for him to go as well. Just like with the other two. I was about the only mom with both Mr N and Boeboe that wasn't crying when I dropped them off for their first day of school. Why did I need to cry? It was a happy day! They were starting this whole, brand new experience for which they were so ready, so looking forward to it. They had no need to cling to me. They didn't cry. They smiled and waved goodbye. Because they were secure and independent.
In my opinion, from my experience, children starts to gain independence and develop in huge leaps and bounds around age 4-5. I'm sure Monkeyman too will get this boost. So he WILL be fine in a year's time. So why force him to stay at school, crying for his mother, while I drive away? The kids I've seen who that has been done with, is no more independent than my eldest two. In fact, both Mr N and Boeboe is, as I mentioned, quite independent and doing very well for their age. The grade R teacher even commented to me once that Mr N had the easiest adjustment to school she's ever seen. And that for a child who's never been to school until he was about 4 years old, and then only went to school once a week. Age 5 he went twice a week and everyone warned me that I should get him "into routine" of going 5 times a week. And I couldn't understand WHY. He'll get into routing WHEN he's going 5 days a week. If it's in playschool at age 5, or in Grade R at age 6, what difference would it make? Both me and him were loving it having him home 3 days a week (later on 2 days) at age 4 and 5. He loved going to school, but he also loved staying at home. It was always a relaxing decision. I've never ever had to force one of my kids to go to school when they didn't want to, until they started grade R (and even since then it's almost never a problem. They've never even faked illness to get out of school!).
They've never cried for me, while I drove away. And I sincerely believe I'm reaping the rewards with my 2 eldest. Both being confident, adjusting easily to new situations and new teachers. Even this year, with grade 4 being SO much different than grade 3, Mr N was like a fish in water. Not even registering the changes as big. He just adapted and continued. So no, neither of the eldest two are still attached to my pants. They can easily go play all day at a friends house, or have a sleepover, without missing mom much. They love being at home, and being with their parents, just like I did when I was a child.
So if it turned out so well for them, why should I change it with Monkeyman, just because his shyness is worse than theirs was? You get my point, I guess. As you can see, I'm passionate about this. And it upsets me that working moms expect SAHM's to follow their examples. I honestly do not think what working moms are doing, is always the best for every child. So why do I need to follow their example? I let the child and his personality lead me. Not the ideas of society that has turned sending 4-month old babies off to creches into a "normal", "right", "acceptable" and even "a good thing"! I can almost understand someone who's child is in creche from an early age, to think a child NOT in creche at age 3 or 4, is "wrong", "deprived", etc. But I don't go around and blame them and tell them their child was deprived at age 4 months, or 8 months, or 15 months because they were in a creche. So why do some of them feel the need to blame me?
Some people even gave me the arguments about how much their children has learned in school, and of course thereby implying that Monkeyman ISN'T learning anything. Gosh, how silly hey? Firstly, ALL children learn with time. Monkeyman was able to recognise ALL colours before age 2, without me ever sitting down to teach him. If he was in creche, I would've exclaimed how wonderful the creche is, because they're teaching him his colours so early! Wow. (*sarcasm*).
Monkeyman has been able to count to 30 for months and months now. I didn't teach him this. But neither Boeboe nor Mr N could do this even a YEAR after they've started school (playschool age 4)!! It's just how their little brains are wired. Monkeyman can sing songs. Neither Boeboe nor Mr N could do it even after 2 years in playschool, AND 1 year in grade R. Both could only sing their first song (remembering all the words) when they were 7! I firmly believe that children learn when their brains are ready to make those connections. You can force it all you want, if they're not ready, they won't learn it. If they're ready, you (or a teacher) may be able to teach it to them before they learn it by themselves. Thinking how wonderful the creche and teacher are, LOL. But, in my opinion, the child would've learned it in any case at some point. By age 7, most kids are almost equal in what they can and cannot do. Some are better at some things, obviously. Which I believe is mostly due to genetics and talent. You're good at maths, or ball sports, or dancing, etc. That kind of thing. As long as you provide a generally stimulating environment, with no pressure, enough sleep and rest, lots of love, and good food, I believe most children will achieve what they've achieved by age 5, if they were in school or not. They may not know that specific song the teacher has taught, of course not. I'm talking about general development of the brain and body. It would make no difference if a child has learned Silent Night at age 3, age 7 or age 15. In my opinion. So the specific detail is irrelevant. The methods of using the brain to remember the song, count, clap hands, use scissors, colour in, add and subtract, etc. Those methods are what's important. And the brain connections needed to accomplish that methods....they're there at age 5. Schooling or no schooling.
Monkeyman can count objects already. He can add 2 different number of objects to each other. He can smile and laugh with extreme happiness (daily). He can dance and sing. He can throw and catch a ball. He can cut papers. He can draw a little man. He can phone someones number. He can have a conversation with you that leaves you amazed at his perception of the world. He can play games on the i-Pad that wasn't designed with children in mind (not because of violence, etc. but because of its difficulty level). He can figure out new games before his dad had a chance to explain it to him. He even plays backgammon with me! He taught himself to read certain words, like yes, no, etc. (in English!) and some in Afrikaans. We never speak to him or read to him in English. He figured it out from playing i-Pad and watching English cartoons. He can tumble with his brother like he has no fear in the world of getting hurt. He can run around with Boeboe until he's all red in the face and laughing hysterically. He can play with his friend for hours without ever fighting, not even over a toy. He even plays with his siblings' friends, talking to them like equals. Not seeing the years of difference. Not even realising he's so much shorter! He can hold a baby with so much gentleness it plucks at your heartstrings. He can count backwards. He can count in 2 languages. He can play battleship against me or a computer opponent. And win! He can play mahjong! He can look at you like he's 70 and has all the knowledge in the world. He's one amazing little boy, and I do not see anything wrong with him, for not going to school. So he's scared when there's 20 children together. So what? Why force him to face them, when he's not ready? He can face his fears when there's 1, 3 or 5 children. Isn't that good enough at age 3, given everything else he's good at? So he's socially behind some of his peers. That doesn't mean he will be socially behind his peers at age 5, if I don't force him into school! Why on earth would people think that?!
Anyway, rant over. Fortunately, Monkeyman is MY child, my responsibility, and me and his dad feels the same. So I'll try to ignore the working moms telling me that he NEEDS to go to school, and that I have to FORCE him to stay (by leaving him behind crying). Thank God that I do not HAVE to do that. That I do not HAVE to accept that as the only (and thus the best) choice for my child. That I do have other options. And Thank God that I have the strength to follow my instincts, rather than the pressure of society.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
My country, South Africa
Firstly, I want to say something about the comments on Blogger. I'm not ignoring anyone. It's just that I am unable to reply to comments for some time now. There's apparently a work-around this bug of Blogger, but I have to go research it first. So in the meantime, thank you for all comments, and sorry for not replying. John, particularly thanx to you for the invitation on my previous post, and the link. I'm definitely going to look into that!
Today, it's not all about the kids. Today, this post is about me. Or rather, about my country. About South Africa. There's actually so much to say, that I think I'll split it over a few posts. So this one would just be an "overview", and then I'll go into detail into each of the points I make. Please remember that this is strictly only my opinion. I do not have any political analysing experience. I base most of my opinions on the intensive research I have done over a 6-month period, the experience I gained from living in this country for almost 40 years, and my own deduction powers. I have read many books, many blogs, many sites and many articles. I have looked at oposing positions. Liberals, right-winged, neutrals, from all races and interest groups. I've watched a few programs, and a number of Youtube video's. I feel comfortable that I have a fair understanding of what's going on now. Something I did not have 6 months ago. Because I was never, ever interested in politics. And up until 6 months ago, I preferred hiding my head in the sand because it was all too upsetting to deal with. To face reality.
I never wanted to know who and what each political party is about. It didn't interest me at all. I found it boring, deceitful, and had no desire to try and understand politicians' emotions or motivations. I voted, of course yes, because I was taught that that's the right thing to do. But I never really went into politics more than a basic, shallow understanding. Well, something caused me to look into some of the things happening in our country a while ago. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was researching not only current happenings, but history as well. I now have a very good understanding of the real history of all the different groups in our country. From different perspectives. I also have a much better understanding of our political past and current happenings. I understand where our government is coming from, and where they're heading. I also now understand how the world sees us much better. This last point shocked me. I know it's impossible for all people to learn the true history of every country on this planet. It's way too much. So I understand that most people would put an opinion of a country together from a few snippets he read in the mainstream news. I just never realised how absolutely wrong the world's opinion is of the white people in South Africa. Our history, what shaped us, our reasoning, and our current situation. There's very, very little truth out there. :( It really saddens me, because I have made friends all over this world in different countries, and to realise what they're probably thinking of us, of me, is shocking and hurts.
But that's also a whole other discussion. I'll get to that as well, at one stage. I decided to chronicle all of my thoughts, in different posts, as it will do a number of positive things. One is, to get the word out there. Second, to preserve it as history for my children. Third is, to organise my thoughts and feelings to make sense of it all. Fourth is, to create an understanding amongst people.
So back to our country and some issues as I perceive them personally (not in the whole, just what it means to me as an individual). I'm going to list the points that worries me with a small description, and then tackle each point in a separate post in the next few months. Because there's so much to say about it all.
1. During September 2011, the white people of South Africa (less than 5 million of the total population of 50 million people) has been placed on level 6 (out of 8) on Genocidewatch's website. It is run by dr Gregory Stanton from the USA. Level 6 is called Preparation, and level 7 is when there's a full-blown genocide like what happened in Rwanda. Level 8 is the aftermath when the perpetrators are hiding the mass atrocities. There's so much more to say about this...but just imagine living in a country where they say that black, marxist youths are preparing to slaughter every white person in your country. And you're part of that minority. What would you do?
I'll leave this point with the following. This was posted a few days ago by a black SAPS (police service) investigator on his facebook page. I've decided to omit his name, I'm sure you'll understand. I'm not here to stir. I'm here to works things out for myself. I try to tell myself it's just an individual. But this person seems to be well educated (studied in Texas, USA), he's in a position of power and service towards all South African citizens (or supposed to be), and given the fact that we're on level 6 on GenocideWatch....it's difficult to ignore:
"Fuck this white racist shirt! We must introduce Black apartheid. Whites have no ROOM in our heart and mind. Viva MALEMA."
Four mintues later: "When The Black Messiah (NM) dies, we'll teach whites some lesson. We'll commit a genocite on them. I hate whites."
2. Onto my second concern. Crime in our country has taken on immensely wrong proportions. I'll discuss where it comes from and why it scares me in another post. Suffice to say that me and my daughter has a 30% chance of being raped during our lifetime. We live behind the best security we can afford. We are naturally trained already to always look over our shoulder and around us when approaching our car, our house, stopping at a red robot, slowing down at a "high hi-jacking danger spot", etc. The crime alone is not only what's chasing us away. It's the nature of the crime. People are tortured, maimed, mutilated and dehumanised in the most awful ways possible. I would not even have been able to wrote such horrible deeds into a script for an episode in CSI, but it's happening every week in our country. A decade ago, it was mostly men that were targeted. The past few years though, women and children has been treated almost worse than the men. This has made me realise it's not only me or my husband that's targets anymore, but my beautiful, innocent children as well.
3. Revolution. I think this point scares me the most as it's probably the most realistic scenario. I've read many people's opinions, and if there's one thing all seem to agree on, is that a revolution is most likely inevitable in South Africa. The political analysts seems to pinpoint this date as anything between 2013 and 2020. One person suggested on his blog that it will be next year (2012), but I'm choosing to ignore this. I can't deal with that scenario just yet. But I do acknowledge that it seems inevitable, and that we can do one of 3 things. Ignore the fact that it's coming, while hoping and believing that like always, the good in South Africa's people will pull the wagon through the ditch. You can thus choose to hide your head in the sand, because you're not interested in politics, or because the realities is too much to handle, or because you cannot face such negativities in your life. Or secondly you can decide that it won't "touch" you much. That you and your family are and will be safe. Some revolutions happens quickly, and only few people die. Mostly rebels and defence forces. You can hide out in your house and believe you'll be safe. You can even prepare as best as you can for such a happening. Maybe have an escape plan, or a hide-out with stocked supplies. Or, thirdly, you can take your family and run as far and as fast as you can.
4. Like I mentioned. I was never interested in politics. I knew our country fought the border war because of encroaching communist factions. Thus helping to bring the cold war to an end during the late 1980's. What I did not realise, was that even with the fall of communism, our current government did not fully renounce their communism goals. I never realised that our current government was not interested in a Western 1st world state when they took over power in 1994 from the apartheid government. They want a socialist state. Only when they started admitting this publicly, did I realise their intentions. Only when they started to openly talk about going back to the NDR (National Democratic Revolution) in 2007, did I understand that to them, democracy like we know and understand it in the Western way, is not first price. They want to achieve their NDR goals, where South Africa would end up as a socialist state. To achieve this socialism, things has to drastically change in our country. The changes would involve processes that, in my opinion, would crash our country's economy. I don't even want to think what that would do to our savings, our pensionfund, the value of our property.
5. My last, but not least point for now. When our current government took control of the country, one of the things they had to rectify, was the inequality between black and white job opportunities. I wholeheartedly agreed with this. What I don't agree with, is the way it was done. It has been 17 years, and instead of less unemployment, better education, better health, etc. everything is just going down the drain. Unemployment has reached unprecedented proportions. The health sector is in total disarray, and the plans to try and rectify this, will cause even greater chaos. Education has been a big failure the past 10 years, and our children are suffering because of it. Municipalities are on the brink of bankruptcy, service delivery is almost non-existing in some towns and an ever-increasing burden is placed on the shoulders of the 6 million taxpayers, to feed and take care of the population of 50 million. We're turning into a total welfare state. Because of these failures of the government, we're told that "transformation" isn't taking place fast enough. So not only do the powers that be intend to implement Affirmative Action indefinitely (in their own words), they also created BEE (Black economic empowerment). The result is an even more skewed economic society with a huge discrepancy between rich and poor. Affirmative action (reservations of most jobs for people from black ethnic groups) has had two results on a big part of the white population. Some people, unable to find employment in South Africa, had to emigrate. While others lost their jobs, especially those that previously worked in state departments. Quite a number of those people have been unable to find new employment due to Affirmative Action, and did not have the funds or means to emigrate. Currently, guesstimates say that of the 5 million white people that used to live in South Africa, about 1 million has emigrated during the past 20 years, and about 800 000 is living in squatter camps. Due to government policy (reserving it for black people), most of these 800 000 white people do not get food stamps, state subsidised welfare, state pensions or any support at all from the government. Some are even shown the door when they turn up at state hospitals in need of help. Even some churches acknowledge that even though their congregations are mostly white, that their policies are to help the black impoverished people, and not the white impoverished. Because that's the way it's always been done. To put this into percentages, Affirmative Action and other reasons like crime, has caused 20% of the white population to leave the country, and put 16% in squatter camps, living below the breadline. Crime has wiped out another guesstimate of 30 000-50 000 white people living in towns and cities, and about 4000 of the farmers. If this trend continues...what hope does my children have, in this country? There's even policies to restrict white kids from studying certain degrees in University. For example, most of the white matriculants that apply to study for medicine, gets turned down. A black student getting 60% in matric will be put first in the queue, before a white student getting 90%. So I can't help but wonder...will my children be able to study what they want to? Would they get temporary jobs, like I did, to be able to afford studying? Most bursaries are reserved for black students. Would my children get a job in this country, once they've completed their studies? Or will they need to emigrate to find a job? Should we rather emigrate now, to a country where they'll be assured of a tertiary education and a job, or should we stay in South Africa and most likely have to wave our kids goodbye 10-15 years down the line when they emigrate?
As you can see, our current situation in my beloved country, South Africa, is deplorable, to say the least. It scares me and it makes me wonder if, and what, we should do. What can we do. As I mentioned, I'll dig into all of this deeper over the next few months.
Today, it's not all about the kids. Today, this post is about me. Or rather, about my country. About South Africa. There's actually so much to say, that I think I'll split it over a few posts. So this one would just be an "overview", and then I'll go into detail into each of the points I make. Please remember that this is strictly only my opinion. I do not have any political analysing experience. I base most of my opinions on the intensive research I have done over a 6-month period, the experience I gained from living in this country for almost 40 years, and my own deduction powers. I have read many books, many blogs, many sites and many articles. I have looked at oposing positions. Liberals, right-winged, neutrals, from all races and interest groups. I've watched a few programs, and a number of Youtube video's. I feel comfortable that I have a fair understanding of what's going on now. Something I did not have 6 months ago. Because I was never, ever interested in politics. And up until 6 months ago, I preferred hiding my head in the sand because it was all too upsetting to deal with. To face reality.
I never wanted to know who and what each political party is about. It didn't interest me at all. I found it boring, deceitful, and had no desire to try and understand politicians' emotions or motivations. I voted, of course yes, because I was taught that that's the right thing to do. But I never really went into politics more than a basic, shallow understanding. Well, something caused me to look into some of the things happening in our country a while ago. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was researching not only current happenings, but history as well. I now have a very good understanding of the real history of all the different groups in our country. From different perspectives. I also have a much better understanding of our political past and current happenings. I understand where our government is coming from, and where they're heading. I also now understand how the world sees us much better. This last point shocked me. I know it's impossible for all people to learn the true history of every country on this planet. It's way too much. So I understand that most people would put an opinion of a country together from a few snippets he read in the mainstream news. I just never realised how absolutely wrong the world's opinion is of the white people in South Africa. Our history, what shaped us, our reasoning, and our current situation. There's very, very little truth out there. :( It really saddens me, because I have made friends all over this world in different countries, and to realise what they're probably thinking of us, of me, is shocking and hurts.
But that's also a whole other discussion. I'll get to that as well, at one stage. I decided to chronicle all of my thoughts, in different posts, as it will do a number of positive things. One is, to get the word out there. Second, to preserve it as history for my children. Third is, to organise my thoughts and feelings to make sense of it all. Fourth is, to create an understanding amongst people.
So back to our country and some issues as I perceive them personally (not in the whole, just what it means to me as an individual). I'm going to list the points that worries me with a small description, and then tackle each point in a separate post in the next few months. Because there's so much to say about it all.
1. During September 2011, the white people of South Africa (less than 5 million of the total population of 50 million people) has been placed on level 6 (out of 8) on Genocidewatch's website. It is run by dr Gregory Stanton from the USA. Level 6 is called Preparation, and level 7 is when there's a full-blown genocide like what happened in Rwanda. Level 8 is the aftermath when the perpetrators are hiding the mass atrocities. There's so much more to say about this...but just imagine living in a country where they say that black, marxist youths are preparing to slaughter every white person in your country. And you're part of that minority. What would you do?
I'll leave this point with the following. This was posted a few days ago by a black SAPS (police service) investigator on his facebook page. I've decided to omit his name, I'm sure you'll understand. I'm not here to stir. I'm here to works things out for myself. I try to tell myself it's just an individual. But this person seems to be well educated (studied in Texas, USA), he's in a position of power and service towards all South African citizens (or supposed to be), and given the fact that we're on level 6 on GenocideWatch....it's difficult to ignore:
"Fuck this white racist shirt! We must introduce Black apartheid. Whites have no ROOM in our heart and mind. Viva MALEMA."
Four mintues later: "When The Black Messiah (NM) dies, we'll teach whites some lesson. We'll commit a genocite on them. I hate whites."
2. Onto my second concern. Crime in our country has taken on immensely wrong proportions. I'll discuss where it comes from and why it scares me in another post. Suffice to say that me and my daughter has a 30% chance of being raped during our lifetime. We live behind the best security we can afford. We are naturally trained already to always look over our shoulder and around us when approaching our car, our house, stopping at a red robot, slowing down at a "high hi-jacking danger spot", etc. The crime alone is not only what's chasing us away. It's the nature of the crime. People are tortured, maimed, mutilated and dehumanised in the most awful ways possible. I would not even have been able to wrote such horrible deeds into a script for an episode in CSI, but it's happening every week in our country. A decade ago, it was mostly men that were targeted. The past few years though, women and children has been treated almost worse than the men. This has made me realise it's not only me or my husband that's targets anymore, but my beautiful, innocent children as well.
3. Revolution. I think this point scares me the most as it's probably the most realistic scenario. I've read many people's opinions, and if there's one thing all seem to agree on, is that a revolution is most likely inevitable in South Africa. The political analysts seems to pinpoint this date as anything between 2013 and 2020. One person suggested on his blog that it will be next year (2012), but I'm choosing to ignore this. I can't deal with that scenario just yet. But I do acknowledge that it seems inevitable, and that we can do one of 3 things. Ignore the fact that it's coming, while hoping and believing that like always, the good in South Africa's people will pull the wagon through the ditch. You can thus choose to hide your head in the sand, because you're not interested in politics, or because the realities is too much to handle, or because you cannot face such negativities in your life. Or secondly you can decide that it won't "touch" you much. That you and your family are and will be safe. Some revolutions happens quickly, and only few people die. Mostly rebels and defence forces. You can hide out in your house and believe you'll be safe. You can even prepare as best as you can for such a happening. Maybe have an escape plan, or a hide-out with stocked supplies. Or, thirdly, you can take your family and run as far and as fast as you can.
4. Like I mentioned. I was never interested in politics. I knew our country fought the border war because of encroaching communist factions. Thus helping to bring the cold war to an end during the late 1980's. What I did not realise, was that even with the fall of communism, our current government did not fully renounce their communism goals. I never realised that our current government was not interested in a Western 1st world state when they took over power in 1994 from the apartheid government. They want a socialist state. Only when they started admitting this publicly, did I realise their intentions. Only when they started to openly talk about going back to the NDR (National Democratic Revolution) in 2007, did I understand that to them, democracy like we know and understand it in the Western way, is not first price. They want to achieve their NDR goals, where South Africa would end up as a socialist state. To achieve this socialism, things has to drastically change in our country. The changes would involve processes that, in my opinion, would crash our country's economy. I don't even want to think what that would do to our savings, our pensionfund, the value of our property.
5. My last, but not least point for now. When our current government took control of the country, one of the things they had to rectify, was the inequality between black and white job opportunities. I wholeheartedly agreed with this. What I don't agree with, is the way it was done. It has been 17 years, and instead of less unemployment, better education, better health, etc. everything is just going down the drain. Unemployment has reached unprecedented proportions. The health sector is in total disarray, and the plans to try and rectify this, will cause even greater chaos. Education has been a big failure the past 10 years, and our children are suffering because of it. Municipalities are on the brink of bankruptcy, service delivery is almost non-existing in some towns and an ever-increasing burden is placed on the shoulders of the 6 million taxpayers, to feed and take care of the population of 50 million. We're turning into a total welfare state. Because of these failures of the government, we're told that "transformation" isn't taking place fast enough. So not only do the powers that be intend to implement Affirmative Action indefinitely (in their own words), they also created BEE (Black economic empowerment). The result is an even more skewed economic society with a huge discrepancy between rich and poor. Affirmative action (reservations of most jobs for people from black ethnic groups) has had two results on a big part of the white population. Some people, unable to find employment in South Africa, had to emigrate. While others lost their jobs, especially those that previously worked in state departments. Quite a number of those people have been unable to find new employment due to Affirmative Action, and did not have the funds or means to emigrate. Currently, guesstimates say that of the 5 million white people that used to live in South Africa, about 1 million has emigrated during the past 20 years, and about 800 000 is living in squatter camps. Due to government policy (reserving it for black people), most of these 800 000 white people do not get food stamps, state subsidised welfare, state pensions or any support at all from the government. Some are even shown the door when they turn up at state hospitals in need of help. Even some churches acknowledge that even though their congregations are mostly white, that their policies are to help the black impoverished people, and not the white impoverished. Because that's the way it's always been done. To put this into percentages, Affirmative Action and other reasons like crime, has caused 20% of the white population to leave the country, and put 16% in squatter camps, living below the breadline. Crime has wiped out another guesstimate of 30 000-50 000 white people living in towns and cities, and about 4000 of the farmers. If this trend continues...what hope does my children have, in this country? There's even policies to restrict white kids from studying certain degrees in University. For example, most of the white matriculants that apply to study for medicine, gets turned down. A black student getting 60% in matric will be put first in the queue, before a white student getting 90%. So I can't help but wonder...will my children be able to study what they want to? Would they get temporary jobs, like I did, to be able to afford studying? Most bursaries are reserved for black students. Would my children get a job in this country, once they've completed their studies? Or will they need to emigrate to find a job? Should we rather emigrate now, to a country where they'll be assured of a tertiary education and a job, or should we stay in South Africa and most likely have to wave our kids goodbye 10-15 years down the line when they emigrate?
As you can see, our current situation in my beloved country, South Africa, is deplorable, to say the least. It scares me and it makes me wonder if, and what, we should do. What can we do. As I mentioned, I'll dig into all of this deeper over the next few months.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Normal treatment, or special treatment?
The thing I've wondered about the past week, was how should I have treated my little girl? In particular, with regards to her legs.
A few days ago, I was waiting for my son to come from cricket practice. I saw 2 moms coming out of the school with their little girls. Gorgeous little girls of about ages 6-8. They were wearing tutu's. The whole little ballet costumes, in fact. The two families looked so happy.
Somehow, it hit me. The fact that my little girl couldn't do that. I did. I took ballet for a while, and I absolutely adored it. I would've continued, but my teacher went away. We lived in a small town, and there was no one to continue our lessons with. The teacher urged my mom to take me to the next-door town, because accordingly to her, I was good. It warmed my heart, but I told my mom it's okay. We don't have to continue with lessons. It broke my heart, which I never told my mom. But I was old enough (at about age 8...hahaha) to know that we weren't rich. And that it would cost my parents allot of money to not only pay for my lessons (with the previous teacher it was free, but in the neighbouring town it wouldn't be), but also the petrol money. I knew it wasn't worth it, because even if I was very good, I wasn't exceptional. It wasn't as if this would've been my career one day.
So when I had a little girl, I was excited about the idea of her doing ballet one day. Not super excited like it's a burning desire in me. Just excited because I loved it so much, and hoped that she too would find joy in it. Soon after starting grade R, I asked Boeboe if she'd like to start ballet. She agreed, very excitedly. We made sure with her orthopead surgeon that it was safe for her feet/legs, and he said yes, it won't cause any harm. It may even be beneficial.
Sadly, Boeboe didn't enjoy the ballet. In the beginning, she couldn't tell me why not. She just continued to be negative on ballet days. Seeing it as a chore, not a joy. I used to be excited about going to my classes. She wasn't. She was strangely not very talkative about it at all.
After some time, she started complaining about it. Her legs hurt. She couldn't explain to me why and what precisely. Just that it hurt. A few months later, she was able to vocalise it better. Telling me what they do, when it hurts. Usually, it was when they were stretching, or twisting their legs or feet.
Numerous times I'd ask my husband if we should allow her to stop. Every time though, we thought lets just give her some more time. Let her try and find the joy in it. Let her learn that one should not give up, just because exercise can be painful. Let her learn that if you start something beginning of the year, you see it through until end of the year.
So. We treated her like a normal little girl. We treated her like we would've treated any girl of ours. Not like a disabled kid. Partly of course due to the fact that we didn't know yet that she was disabled. Sometimes, I did think...what if something is wrong with her legs? Ballet isn't suppose to hurt at this age? But then I'd shrug it off again.
End of that year though, I gave her the choice if she wants to continue or not, and she immediately said no thank you. She chose to do a music/drama type of class, which she enjoyed thoroughly.
So I sat in my car a few days ago...watching those little girls walk happily out of the ballet lesson in their little costumes, and I felt like crying for my little girl. Because of the pain I put her through. She tried to tell me. Yes, it couldn't have been TOO bad, because it's not as if she was crying afterwards (or during) lessons. Or begging me to stop. She would just matter of fact telling me she doesn't like it much, because it hurts her legs. How was I to know?
Now I'm wondering. If we have known...almost 3 years ago. If we had known that Boeboe has a nerve condition involving her legs. Would we have been more sympathetic? I'd like to say yes. Would we have let her stop the ballet classes? I'd have to say Yes, most definitely.
What would Boeboe have learned from that? That her parents are sympathetic and supportive? Maybe. That you can stop something when it hurts and you don't like it? Yes. That you can use a disability to not do something that causes pain? Yes. That you don't have to finish something when you have a good, valid, solid excuse? Yes.
What did she learn? That her parents were unsympathetic and not supportive? Yes. That you have to stick through something despite it being painful? Yes. That you have to bear and grin? Yes. That you have to be strong? Yes. I can go on and on. Is this what I WANTED her to learn? No. A big, fat, solid NO.
People tend to say...don't wrap your disabled child in cotton wool. I don't. My daughter doesn't even know that she had a "disability". Or have. Whatever way you want to look at it. She doesn't know there's something different between her and her brothers. Now that it is "fixed" in her eyes, she doesn't know there's any more difference between her and her peers. So I certainly do NOT wrap her in cotton wool. I do not safeguard her. I do not protect her from unnecessary hurt because of her condition. Maybe because we didn't know about this condition from birth? Maybe because by the time we knew for a fact WHAT is wrong with her, she was already operated for it. I could never mollycoddle her because of my suspicions. Until we had a diagnosis, I treated her like a normal little girl. Then, after her diagnosis, she's been operated on already and mostly "fixed". So no need to treat her different than any normal little girl.
But then I think of the ballet. And I feel sad for her. Sad that she had to do something physically painful and uncomfortable, because we didn't know about her condition. How unfair towards her. Didn't she deserve to be treated sympathetic? And supportive?
So what's better? To treat a disabled child "normal" so that she doesn't feel disabled? Or to treat a normal child "normal" and then finds out she isn't so "normal"? Which hurts the child more? Isn't it the right of a disabled person, to be only pushed to her limits, and not beyond? Isn't it fair for a disabled person to be treated inside their limits? I once complained to a neurologist that Boeboe can't walk very far without getting very tired. He answered: All children gets tired when walking far.
True. But a able-bodied child gets tired differently than a disabled child. The latter's tiredness goes much much deeper. It causes aches and pains and a sense of failure. Is that fair? Should you push your disabled child until they feel that sense of failure? And then wash your hands in innocence and say "I didn't want her to feel disabled"?
OK, I'm rambling now. Like you see, I'm struggling with this. How far does support, sympathy, empathy and acceptance go? And how far do you push a little child? To be normal.
If I could do it all over again. This time WITH the knowledge of my daughter's condition. WITH the knowledge that her legs have been touched by her condition. I would've done it differently. I would've been more sympathetic. I would've looked for a trolley in the mall earlier. I would not have gotten cross with her when she complained she's tired. I would not have walked so fast. I would not have told her "everyone's legs tire" when she complained. I would not have urged her to take ballet. I would not have told her she had to finish the year's ballet. That it's okay and acceptable that it makes your legs ache. I would've given her more choices. Less forcing. More support. Less arguing. More sympathy. Less denial of her feelings. Would this have changed her into a wimp? Into a worthless person who do not push herself? No. It would've validate herself. That what she was feeling, the pain, was real. It would've given her confidence in the fact that her parents believed her. I think the lessons she should've learned, was more valuable, than the lessons she did learn with our unsympathetic attitudes. So I'm sorry. Sorry that I didn't know. Sorry that I acted like everything was normal. Sorry that I didn't believe my daughter. Sorry that I didn't support her.
A few days ago, I was waiting for my son to come from cricket practice. I saw 2 moms coming out of the school with their little girls. Gorgeous little girls of about ages 6-8. They were wearing tutu's. The whole little ballet costumes, in fact. The two families looked so happy.
Somehow, it hit me. The fact that my little girl couldn't do that. I did. I took ballet for a while, and I absolutely adored it. I would've continued, but my teacher went away. We lived in a small town, and there was no one to continue our lessons with. The teacher urged my mom to take me to the next-door town, because accordingly to her, I was good. It warmed my heart, but I told my mom it's okay. We don't have to continue with lessons. It broke my heart, which I never told my mom. But I was old enough (at about age 8...hahaha) to know that we weren't rich. And that it would cost my parents allot of money to not only pay for my lessons (with the previous teacher it was free, but in the neighbouring town it wouldn't be), but also the petrol money. I knew it wasn't worth it, because even if I was very good, I wasn't exceptional. It wasn't as if this would've been my career one day.
So when I had a little girl, I was excited about the idea of her doing ballet one day. Not super excited like it's a burning desire in me. Just excited because I loved it so much, and hoped that she too would find joy in it. Soon after starting grade R, I asked Boeboe if she'd like to start ballet. She agreed, very excitedly. We made sure with her orthopead surgeon that it was safe for her feet/legs, and he said yes, it won't cause any harm. It may even be beneficial.
Sadly, Boeboe didn't enjoy the ballet. In the beginning, she couldn't tell me why not. She just continued to be negative on ballet days. Seeing it as a chore, not a joy. I used to be excited about going to my classes. She wasn't. She was strangely not very talkative about it at all.
After some time, she started complaining about it. Her legs hurt. She couldn't explain to me why and what precisely. Just that it hurt. A few months later, she was able to vocalise it better. Telling me what they do, when it hurts. Usually, it was when they were stretching, or twisting their legs or feet.
Numerous times I'd ask my husband if we should allow her to stop. Every time though, we thought lets just give her some more time. Let her try and find the joy in it. Let her learn that one should not give up, just because exercise can be painful. Let her learn that if you start something beginning of the year, you see it through until end of the year.
So. We treated her like a normal little girl. We treated her like we would've treated any girl of ours. Not like a disabled kid. Partly of course due to the fact that we didn't know yet that she was disabled. Sometimes, I did think...what if something is wrong with her legs? Ballet isn't suppose to hurt at this age? But then I'd shrug it off again.
End of that year though, I gave her the choice if she wants to continue or not, and she immediately said no thank you. She chose to do a music/drama type of class, which she enjoyed thoroughly.
So I sat in my car a few days ago...watching those little girls walk happily out of the ballet lesson in their little costumes, and I felt like crying for my little girl. Because of the pain I put her through. She tried to tell me. Yes, it couldn't have been TOO bad, because it's not as if she was crying afterwards (or during) lessons. Or begging me to stop. She would just matter of fact telling me she doesn't like it much, because it hurts her legs. How was I to know?
Now I'm wondering. If we have known...almost 3 years ago. If we had known that Boeboe has a nerve condition involving her legs. Would we have been more sympathetic? I'd like to say yes. Would we have let her stop the ballet classes? I'd have to say Yes, most definitely.
What would Boeboe have learned from that? That her parents are sympathetic and supportive? Maybe. That you can stop something when it hurts and you don't like it? Yes. That you can use a disability to not do something that causes pain? Yes. That you don't have to finish something when you have a good, valid, solid excuse? Yes.
What did she learn? That her parents were unsympathetic and not supportive? Yes. That you have to stick through something despite it being painful? Yes. That you have to bear and grin? Yes. That you have to be strong? Yes. I can go on and on. Is this what I WANTED her to learn? No. A big, fat, solid NO.
People tend to say...don't wrap your disabled child in cotton wool. I don't. My daughter doesn't even know that she had a "disability". Or have. Whatever way you want to look at it. She doesn't know there's something different between her and her brothers. Now that it is "fixed" in her eyes, she doesn't know there's any more difference between her and her peers. So I certainly do NOT wrap her in cotton wool. I do not safeguard her. I do not protect her from unnecessary hurt because of her condition. Maybe because we didn't know about this condition from birth? Maybe because by the time we knew for a fact WHAT is wrong with her, she was already operated for it. I could never mollycoddle her because of my suspicions. Until we had a diagnosis, I treated her like a normal little girl. Then, after her diagnosis, she's been operated on already and mostly "fixed". So no need to treat her different than any normal little girl.
But then I think of the ballet. And I feel sad for her. Sad that she had to do something physically painful and uncomfortable, because we didn't know about her condition. How unfair towards her. Didn't she deserve to be treated sympathetic? And supportive?
So what's better? To treat a disabled child "normal" so that she doesn't feel disabled? Or to treat a normal child "normal" and then finds out she isn't so "normal"? Which hurts the child more? Isn't it the right of a disabled person, to be only pushed to her limits, and not beyond? Isn't it fair for a disabled person to be treated inside their limits? I once complained to a neurologist that Boeboe can't walk very far without getting very tired. He answered: All children gets tired when walking far.
True. But a able-bodied child gets tired differently than a disabled child. The latter's tiredness goes much much deeper. It causes aches and pains and a sense of failure. Is that fair? Should you push your disabled child until they feel that sense of failure? And then wash your hands in innocence and say "I didn't want her to feel disabled"?
OK, I'm rambling now. Like you see, I'm struggling with this. How far does support, sympathy, empathy and acceptance go? And how far do you push a little child? To be normal.
If I could do it all over again. This time WITH the knowledge of my daughter's condition. WITH the knowledge that her legs have been touched by her condition. I would've done it differently. I would've been more sympathetic. I would've looked for a trolley in the mall earlier. I would not have gotten cross with her when she complained she's tired. I would not have walked so fast. I would not have told her "everyone's legs tire" when she complained. I would not have urged her to take ballet. I would not have told her she had to finish the year's ballet. That it's okay and acceptable that it makes your legs ache. I would've given her more choices. Less forcing. More support. Less arguing. More sympathy. Less denial of her feelings. Would this have changed her into a wimp? Into a worthless person who do not push herself? No. It would've validate herself. That what she was feeling, the pain, was real. It would've given her confidence in the fact that her parents believed her. I think the lessons she should've learned, was more valuable, than the lessons she did learn with our unsympathetic attitudes. So I'm sorry. Sorry that I didn't know. Sorry that I acted like everything was normal. Sorry that I didn't believe my daughter. Sorry that I didn't support her.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
It's in the feet...or is it?
I took the photo of Boeboe's foot yesterday. I have no idea if that's just how her feet are supposed to look, or if it is influenced by the occult tethered cord. But here goes:
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| Boeboe's feet a few days after birth. Clearly flat as can be. |
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| Boeboe's feet age 2. Still flat, though there's the beginning of an arch on her left foot. |
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| Boeboe's feet age 4 (with Mr N here). Clearly arched by now. Her left toes are curled, though this isn't a permanent thing. She can curl it easily, but it doesn't stay like that. Oh, and don't ask me, I can't remember why she has the little plaster on her cheek! :-) |
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| Boeboe's feet as it looks today (age 7). The left foot (the one on the right)'s arch is especially pronounced. It's also the left foot that mostly "drop" down, causing her to fall. |
Saturday, January 1, 2011
So long, 2010...
2010. Over and done with. Where did it go?
I'm not particularly sad that this year is over with. But when I see how fast my baby is growing up, then I want to grab hold of time and force it to a standstill. He can't be turning 3 soon, can he?!
New Year also starts the count-down to the new school year. Something I loath, completely. But let's not dwell on that, there is still 11 days of holiday left!
So what did 2010 teach me? That I must, and can be patient with my daughter. With helping her, with her tantrums, with her differences. That was the major lessons I (had to) learn this year. It still doesn't come easy. When you're called for the 3rd time to the bathroom in 1 hour, you feel like screaming and stomping your foot like a 2-year old. Or when you deal with the 4th tantrum of the day, you feel like grabbing hold of the nearest flowerpot and throw it against the proverbial fireplace. Or when she for the umpteenth time forgot what she was busy telling you... you get my drift! So I needed those lessons. I still need them, to cope. Every day.
Though, it's been a marvellous 4 days without bathrooms and accidents and medications and tantrums. I missed my children something terrible. But in a way, it was good for me. I believe it was good for them as well. Mr N just wanted to come home. Part of it was his love for his home, and missing us, but a big part was missing the Wii, the computer and the satellite dish. I think it was good for this technology-crazed boy of mine to be without for a bit.
So what else did I learn in 2010? That I have amazing kids...:-) :-) :-)
No really, I do!
Mr N. Ah, my clever little boy. He really came into his own this year. He got certificates for academic achievement. Not only in the maths we knew he was good in. But also in Afrikaans. Wow wow wow. I was speechless and so very proud. But most of all...I was proud when he was chosen as one of the 4 best readers (out of 29) for his class. My boy...a good reader?! I was in tears! There's no greater gift to a child (okay, maybe some!) than teaching them a love for reading. I love words. I love books. I love stories. I dream stories, I live stories. I would die without words in my life. The worst thing of being diagnosed with glaucoma, is the fear of someday not being able to see words anymore. I can live without seeing a tv. But don't take my written words away from me.
I digress. Mr N...ah yes, he did so well in grade 3. But not only academically. He was on the 1st cricket team for his grade. He absolutely loved and adored the game and gave it his all and everything. He also grew emotionally this year. Getting a maturity and understanding that surprised me. I love getting to see glimpses of the man he is going to be one day. And it makes me proud! Also...health wise. He did so well. Nearly never had any illnesses, apart from gastro once and scarlet fever. And his clean EEG (no seizures)!!! That was THE best news. If it's clean again in 9 months time, he may be taken off the lamitrigine (epilepsy medication). That would be a wonderful, wonderful day. It's been 4 years now. Of giving him the meds every day. There were difficult times, where he refused to drink it. Or spit it out. Or hide it in his cereal or the dustbin! And the side effects. Horrible, horrible side effects. It would be just lovely, to throw it away and have our son back...unmedicated!
Next is our daughter. I can just say wow. How, after everything I've done to her, did she turn out to be this kind, loving, sweet, happy and amazingly strong little girl? What did I do, to deserve this beautiful little girl? She had to cope with more this year, than some adults even have to cope. And she did it beautifully. She went for test after test, doctor's visit after doctor's visit, without complaining. Without digging her heels in (accept on the rare occasion, LOL). She tried drug after drug, experimental treatments and never lost hope that THIS time it'll work. Her faith was and is still unwavering. That God WILL help her. At some point, when we've prayed long and hard enough, He WILL listen and answer all her prayers. She prayed for a rainbow around May this year. Just after the rainy season in this part of the country. So no luck. For months and months she prayed to see a rainbow. She never stopped praying. Never forgot about it. And then, one day around October. It rained and there was a beautiful, big rainbow. She was ecstatic. I, was humbled. She has given me hope this year. Hope for her. Hope for us. Hope for the future. Because she believes. And that's all you need.
She also worked hard at school. Between everything, she still had to learn how to read, how to spell, how to write, how to count, how to subtract, how to multiply and how to divide. And she did it. She did it all. I'm so very proud of her. For sticking to everything and taking it on, and overcoming the obstacles in her path. And to stay happy and kind and thoughtful and loving and a little chatterbox through it all. Never letting depression or heartache or sadness overwhelm her. Never letting life get her down. What an amazing little girl I've got!
And lastly (but definitely never the least!), our little Monkeyman. What a great little personality this guy has. He's kind and cute and loyal. He's also extremely perceptive, sure of himself and trustworthy. He's contend and peaceful and calm. And he is such a little boy. So typical boy. Give him a car in the one hand and a ball in the other, and he's happy as can be for hours on end. He entertains himself. He rears himself! He is so easy-going. Such a splendid little boy to have. He gives us so much pleasure, so much joy. We can't imagine life without him. It would've been seriously lacking! We can just stand in awe of how fast he is developing. He can do things at age 2 that I never thought is even possible (for a kid of mine that is!). And he do it all by himself. I do not sit and teach him anything. He just picks it up. From tv, from conversations around him, from following his siblings, from copying his dad. It's just absolutely astounding. The way he plays kinect. And Wii. Especially Wii. I don't even need to put the game on for him anymore. He does it all by himself. From step A until step Z. He just knows what to do. What buttons to press, what options to choose, what answers to give. Amazing.
So beside learning that I have awesome kids, what else did I learn in 2010? Hmmm...that SA should be given the chance to host the Olympics! And that if they don't do something SERIOUSLY soon about the farm-murders, food prices are going to skyrocket as we're loosing our farmers to other countries, resulting in us having to import more food. But that's a whole different conversation for another day. Not at midnight!
So I hope that everyone will have a great 2011. That it will be kind to us all. That everyone's prayers will be answered. And that we'll all stay healthy. And that Boeboe's surgery will be one big roaring success. Happy New Year!!!
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